Guardian of the Dream
Part 3 - The Flower's Path
Chapter 2 - Chagum and Tanda
Tanda dreamed of his body, remembering what it was like to feel and sense like an ordinary person.
Right when the Flower’s Guardian had cast his final spell to make Tanda into the Flower’s Defender, Tanda had cast a counterspell to protect himself. That was how he managed to retain his soul, which would otherwise have been lost to the Flower. As things were, the Tanda’s Soul Thread had been severed. His soul had no way of returning to his body. He’d walked straight into the Flower’s trap: he knew that now and regretted it bitterly.
Tanda remembered seeing a woman just before the spell had taken hold of him. A white shadow, pale and drawn in grief. He’d been able to feel her emotions as if they were his own. At the surface level, he’d sensed her desire to remain in the dream world and never awaken. But beneath those emotions, he felt her all-consuming despair--her desire to meld all the other dreams in the Flower into her own, so that everyone else would feel the same way she did.
Tanda sighed.
That woman is a dreamer that pollinated the Flower, but her feelings were so strong that she’s in control of it now.
And that was why the Flower’s Guardian had tricked Tanda into becoming the Flower’s Defender. Tanda didn’t know what the woman’s overall goal was, but he got the feeling that she didn’t want him to be able to return to his body in Sagu. She’d wanted control over him so that her own dream wouldn’t end.
A beautiful color, sweet nectar, and various means of deceiving insects are all parts of the Flower--every flower, but especially this one. I was a fool to fall for the trap.
And that was true, but Tanda consoled himself with the idea that he was an insect in this analogy. Even the tiniest insect had a purpose in nature. And Tanda had successfully protected his soul with that last spell. He was still stuck inside the Flower, but he was the only soul there that was not trapped in a dream. He stood up and looked around at the faintly glowing mist above him.
On each and every petal, the soul of a dreamer was sleeping. It would be best if he could wake all of them at once, but then he would be noticed by the Flower's Guardian. He might be noticed if he tried to awaken even one.
This was the Flower's world. If it came to a fight, Tanda alone would stand no chance.
I should start by looking for Kaya.
If he could reach Kaya, she would believe what he told her. She would wake up.
Tanda changed the shape of his soul to that of a bird, beat his wings once and flew upwards. He searched for Kaya among the Flower’s petals and discovered another dreamer that seemed familiar. When he paused to look, he noticed that the dreamer was dreaming of him.
That was how Tanda found himself sucked into another’s dream.
Before he realized what was going on, Tanda returned to himself, transforming again into his usual shape. He was sitting by the sunken hearth in Hunter's Hole. His surroundings were subtly different from what he remembered. The real Hunter's Hole was never so bright or spacious. A vase that he had used for herbal tonics a long time ago stood intact next to his herb shelves, though Tanda could have sworn that he’d broken it years ago on accident.
It wasn't early summer as it should have been, either. Tanda noticed that he was holding a type of mushroom called kankui that only grew in the autumn. Balsa sat on the other side of the hearth, and Torogai lay sprawled by the fire. He was talking to…
"Chagum!"
Chagum looked up at Tanda, seeming surprised.
"What?"
Tanda dropped the kankui mushroom and pulled Chagum to him. "Oh, no! You got caught up in this mess, too?"
Chagum frowned at him in confusion. "Mess? What's wrong, Tanda? What are you talking about?"
Tanda took in Chagum’s dream--everything Chagum had imagined--and was pained. Chagum’s dream was to return to that autumn he’d spent in Hunter's Hole with Balsa and Torogai. He wanted that so much that he was willing to let the Flower take his soul.
Tanda hugged Chagum. He had to explain everything, but he wasn’t sure how. When he spoke again, his words were slow and halting. "Chagum, listen to me. This is a dream." Tanda explained how he’d come to be in the world of the Flower. He told Chagum how this world worked and how the Flower had trapped him here.
Chagum went rigid in the ring of his arms. He twisted away from Tanda, then shook his head in adamant denial. "No! It’s not true! I don't ever want to return to the real world! I don't want to become the Mikado!" Chagum glared at Tanda. "My real life is so much worse than what I have here! If I am to be trapped regardless, then I'd rather be stuck in this dream than in the palace."
Tanda looked straight at Chagum. "Really? You would rather sleep your real life away and die in this dream?”
Chagum winced a little at that.
"If you really don't mind dying a peaceful death in this pleasant dream, then…" Tanda shrugged. “I can’t stop you, obviously.” He released Chagum from his hug and moved back a little. "But if you feel like you would regret staying here, even just a little bit, then I think you should go back."
Tanda looked out at the other dreams, which were faintly visible through a film of translucent mist. "People come here and choose to stay because they’re unhappy. I'm sure that some of them choose not to go back. Maybe they're desperate and without choices. They might have an incurable disease, or they might have done something terrible that they feel they can never make amends for. Or maybe they feel trapped by their waking life. They curse their fate and refuse to accept their situation, not understanding the reasons for their own unhappiness."
Tanda returned his gaze to Chagum. “I don't know about the others here, but it’s too early for you to lose hope. Both me and Balsa would help you escape to another country or something, even if it cost us our lives, if that was what you truly wanted. A year ago, I thought that you understood that. You chose to give life in the palace a try instead. You faced the dark idea of becoming the Mikado squarely and accepted the burden of your loneliness with your head held high. You want to stand by your own choices, don’t you?"
Chagum said nothing.
Tanda sighed. “I think everyone wants to feel proud of themselves and their choices, from the lowest peasant all the way up to the Mikado. It's difficult to achieve, and it involves coming to terms with feelings so private and embarrassing that you can't share them with anyone. At least, that's what I've been trying to do as I live my life. Whenever I find myself at a crossroads and I don't know what to do, I always try to choose the road that will lead me closer to my ideal self."
Chagum gritted his teeth. Tanda took his hand gently in both of his. “But the final decision here is yours. At least that much is fair, right?"
Chagum nodded his head slightly.
"We're in a dream. Do you want to sleep until you die, surrounded by your self-created illusions of Balsa, me and Master Torogai, now that you know for certain that it isn’t real?”
Chagum closed his eyes. He was trembling.
“Or do you want to wake up and keep on living, no matter how hard the struggles you face are? If you want to go back, I’ll teach you how.”
Chagum took a deep breath, then let it out. He lifted his gaze and looked Tanda in the eyes. Tanda smiled. "Okay. Look here. Can you see these white, glowing threads?"
Tanda pointed at a thick thread extending from Chagum's forehead. Chagum jumped, surprised. "I can see it. I didn't notice it before…"
"In the world of souls, you can't see anything until you notice it deliberately. That’s how magic weaving works." Tanda laughed. "The other end of this thread is connected to your real body. If you follow it, you’ll wake up.
"But there's one very important thing I must warn you of." Tanda frowned severely, then grabbed Chagum by the shoulders. "No matter what you see or hear, whatever happens, do not turn around. This is really important. Don’t turn around for anything. Anything you see or hear is just an illusion made by the Flower to tempt you.
"Do you understand? Promise me!"
Chagum pressed his lips together tightly, then nodded. Tanda let go of his shoulders in relief. "Also, when you're back, I want you to give Master Torogai a message. Tell her that the wind that will scatter the Flower's petals will come from her world in three days' time, during the night of the half-moon. If she’s thinking of doing the Soul Call, that will be the last opportunity."
"I understand. The night of the half moon, three days from now, right?"
"Yes. Please tell Shuga about this, too. He can meet with Torogai in secret. He’s smart. I think he’ll know how to explain all this properly.”
Chagum nodded, this time more strongly.
"Master Torogai should know this, too. If she can discover the place that the wind will blow from and where our worlds connect, the Soul Call will be easier to perform."
Chagum narrowed his eyes. "Tanda, wait."
"Yes?"
"When I first came here, I think I saw something strange. I was dreaming of being inside Hunter's Hole, but you know how dreams sometimes change location? It was like that. For a while, I thought that I saw a palace."
"That's what this place actually looks like, probably. I told you, didn't I? The Flower is blooming in a garden inside an empty palace courtyard."
"Yes. The thing is, the palace I saw looks really similar to the Mountain Palace."
Tanda blinked in surprise. "Is that right? Now that you mention it, I did hear that the Mountain Palace was built on the shores of a lake…"
"Yes. The place I saw looks just like it. I go there with my mother and her attendants every summer. I wouldn't mistake it for any other place. Also…" Excitement transformed Chagum's face. "Kokol, who used to teach me before Shuga, said that a previous Mikado, Yamur, built the Mountain Palace about fifty years ago. It was built there for the Mikado Yamur’s Second Queen. She’d just lost her son, and while she was grieving, she had a haunting, beautiful dream. She asked the Mikado to build a palace just like the one in her dream, in memory of their son. In the dream, she followed a singing voice across the Blue Bow River to a palace on the shore of a lake surrounded by mountains. The location was surveyed, and a lake just like the one in the Queen's dream was found. And so they built the Mountain Palace there."
Tanda's eyes sparkled with interest. "There’s no mistaking it, then. We know that Master Torogai wasn’t the only one called by the Flower fifty years ago. She told me that the others left without ever entering the palace in the Flower’s world. The Second Queen of Mikado Yamur must have been one of them. I’d love to see Master Torogai’s face when we confirm all this! And Chagum, don’t forget to tell Shuga everything. As much as you remember.”
Tanda sighed, feeling some of the weight of worry leave his shoulders. “I didn’t think I’d find you here, Chagum. Was the song really so wonderful?"
Chagum laughed a little in embarrassment. "Yeah. The words were just a love song, but the melody… I don't know how to put it. It clawed at my heart and stirred up feelings deep within me. When I heard it, my chest hurt. I managed to calm down and control myself. I didn’t think much of it until I fell asleep.”
Chagum paused, then said, "Shuga told me about you all. You, Torogai, and Balsa. Just before I went to sleep. I remembered all that stuff and I couldn't stand being stuck in the palace anymore." Chagum selected his words carefully; he was trying to explain the emotions that had brought him to this place. “I went to sleep, still feeling all of that. I heard a woman calling out to me. Her voice was kind, so I searched for her. Then I saw... light. Bright, like fire, but also familiar, like I’d seen it before. I saw the Mountain Palace in the light. And then I woke up, or I thought I did, and I was here.”
Tanda frowned. "A woman, you said? Did you recognize the voice?"
Chagum nodded. He looked queasy and a little pale. “I think... It was the First Queen. She’s been asleep for a long time. A week longer than me.”
Tanda shuddered as he remembered the white face of the woman he’d seen hovering behind the Flower's Guardian.
Chagum collected himself, then spoke again. "After losing Sagum to an illness, the First Queen couldn't overcome her grief and locked herself up in the Mountain Palace. Six days ago, she fell asleep and wouldn't wake up…"
A shiver went down Tanda’s spine.
The son of the First Queen had died, making Chagum, the Second Queen's son, the Crown Prince. The First Queen didn't just lose a son; she was going to be the mother of the next Mikado, the very highest position a woman in this kingdom could attain. That bright future was suddenly taken from her, along with her son. All that was left for her now was to watch the son of the Second Queen become the Mikado instead.
As much as her image, Tanda remembered the emotions he’d sensed from the First Queen. She wanted to keep dreaming forever and never wake up. And she wanted other people to suffer the same way she had.
Tanda paled.
The scent of the Flower intensified all around them. Chagum was enveloped by it, and his eyes began to droop.
This is bad…
The First Queen must have been listening in on everything so far. As soon as it was clear that Tanda was aware of her, she attempted to control Chagum.
Tanda put his hands together and concentrated. He took a deep breath and then released it slowly, changing his exhalation into a white mist to surround Chagum and himself.
Tanda set his palms carefully on Chagum’s cheeks, breathing slow and working to wake the boy from his trance. He came to abruptly, as if cold water had been poured all over him.
“What happened?” Chagum asked. He moved away from the forming wall of mist. Tanda extended his hand and pulled Chagum into a tight hug. Outside the wall of mist, the First Queen writhed and seethed, her voice echoing in a drawn-out cry. There was anger in her scream, and perhaps hatred as well.
Tanda’s barrier held, though the First Queen kept trying to break through.
"Don't worry,” Tanda said to Chagum. “We’re safe in here. I'm not like the souls sleeping in the Flower. At the last moment, when the Flower’s spell was being cast on me, I managed to protect my soul. My barrier won’t be broken so easily."
The strength of the barrier was based on the strength of the soul that formed it. Tanda told himself that he would maintain this barrier no matter what.
"Tanda, what happened? Whose voice is that?"
"The First Queen was here. She most likely wanted to drag you down with her. Your mind and heart were vulnerable, so it was easy for her. Now that she has you in her grasp, she isn't going to let you go."
Chagum frowned. "But the First Queen is a kind person. I haven't met her too many times, but she was always beautiful and gentle, like a cherry blossom. I can't see her as someone who could curse others like this…"
Tanda smiled. It was hard to change Chagum’s mind, especially after he’d judged someone kindly. "Is that what she’s usually like? I think everyone feels some resentment when they’re hurt and grieving. I’m sure she is kind, usually. But right now… well, this is a dream world. There’s no call for pretense here. If she’s hurting, she’ll take it out on others. No one’s here to remind her to be kind."
Tanda gave Chagum a long look, then said, "I'm not saying that she's a bad person. I'm saying that this is a place where the darkness we all hold deep within our hearts is brought to the surface and exposed. Either way, it's good that we noticed the First Queen before I sent you back. If we didn't, you would have been caught in a trap along the way. She is very cunning. I was almost fooled, myself."
Tanda’s smile turned bitter. "My barrier lets us hear sounds from the outside, but our voices and bodies are still concealed. Listen to me, Chagum. To escape from here safely, you must change your shape. You’re not trying to fool the First Queen, though. She won't be tricked so easily. What you want to do is to draw out the full power of your soul. The shape of a soul shows its nature. If the shape is human, then you can only run as fast as a human, but if you take the form of a bird, you can move like a bird does.”
"What if I become an arrow?"
Tanda smile softened slightly. "It's the fastest at the time of release, but it has no power to fly on its own after that, so it won’t be fast enough. Change into a falcon and fly as fast as you can. Follow the thread closely and don’t turn around for any reason. The First Queen will most likely try to stop you, but don’t turn around no matter what she tries."
Tanda gripped Chagum's shoulders and squeezed. "You were lured here because you wanted to come here. The Flower has a lot of power over you because of this. But it shouldn't have enough power to stop a soul that has decided to return to its body. If you don't show any uncertainty, you should be able to return. Don't stray. If you get lost, you'll be dragged back."
Chagum's expression twisted with worry. "By the First Queen?"
"No. By your own heart." Tanda looked at Chagum. "Isn't it strange? Some people want to just sleep forever, or they choose death even if they’re alive and well. Why do some people have souls that are too big for their bodies?"
Chagum inhaled sharply. His voice shook. "This Flower is cruel, isn't it Tanda? Using people's dreams, making them feel like this… My dream isn’t something that could ever come true in the real world."
Tanda hugged Chagum. Chagum buried his face in Tanda's chest and sobbed.
"Tanda. I feel bad for the First Queen. She was in so much pain... It's not her fault."
"But her dream became a nightmare when she ensnared you in it,” Tanda said. “If she could hold you here, then she’d lock you up forever, dragging you down with her. She resents you, but it’s not your fault. She’s probably angry at her fate. ‘Why is it just me?' The Second Queen has you, and you’ll become the Mikado one day. She envies the Second Queen so much… But the kind First Queen didn't want to think such thoughts, so she punished herself for them and hid them. In the dream, her true feelings of resentment came to the surface."
And unfortunately, that resentment gained control over the Flower, leading to this entire mess, Tanda added to himself. He remembered the brilliant deception that had led to him giving up his body and felt that something didn't quite fit.
If the Flower can be taken over by the souls of dreamers, then how did it survive this long? There must have been other souls that wished to end the world and drag other souls into death with them.
In fact, all the souls that the Flower had lured in should have been so strongly disillusioned with their current lives that they wanted to escape. The First Queen’s situation was tragic, but not unique. If there wasn't some power protecting the Flower from souls like hers, then the Flower would never have been able to disperse its seeds and repeat this cycle. It would have died long ago.
Tanda shook his head. This wasn’t the time to be thinking about the mechanics of the Flower. "Anyway, we need to release you from the First Queen's nightmare as soon as possible. That might help the other dreamers that are trapped here, too."
Chagum nodded in determination.
Inspired by Chagum's courage, Tanda cupped Chagum's cheeks in his palms again. "If you ever lose your way, remember that Balsa and I see you as our son. Social status and blood ties don’t mean much to us. All we want is for you to be happy. Your power to fly is the same as your will to live. Fly! Cut through the pain and the darkness. You have the strength to do that. Balsa and I both know that you have what it takes."
Tears welled up in Chagum's eyes. Tanda clapped him on the back, then helped him stand.
Chagum made a valiant effort to suppress his tears, then asked, "What will you do, Tanda?"
"I can't go back. I let the Flower take over my body."
Chagum’s face scrunched up in confusion. Tanda laughed. "Silly. Don't make that face. I only have myself to blame. If Master Torogai finds out, she's going to turn me into a turtle. That's how bad I messed up. I guess I got what's coming to me."
Chagum thought for a second before saying, "Torogai or Balsa will definitely come and save you."
"Yeah. As pathetic as it may be, that's what I'm hoping for, too." Tanda got to his feet. His expression was serious again. He rested both his hands on Chagum's head. "Now. Close your eyes and calm your heartbeat. You should feel a light in your chest… Do you feel it? It's warm, isn't it? That heat is slowly changing you. Both of your arms are becoming wings. Imagine a beautiful, strong falcon. Just like that. Try spreading your wings now!"
Chagum’s shape changed slowly, pulsing with a sunshine glow like the light of a firefly at dusk. Tanda reached out for Chagum just after his transformation and threw him up into the air. "Fly straight back home! Fly with the wind at your back!"
Chagum hesitated, but it was only for a moment. Then he was off, riding the wind. He left Tanda’s protective mist farther and farther behind him. As he flew, the wind whipped past him. He heard a voice call out to him from behind.
"Wait! Chagum, wait!"
It was Tanda's voice. Chagum almost turned without thinking, but he stopped himself. Even if Tanda had forgotten to tell him something, it was too risky to turn back.
The mist and fog before him swirled, and Chagum caught snatches of visions of times long past.
He saw the grand hall of New Yogo’s imperial palace. A blushing Sagum stood before his father, wearing his golden crown. Sagum stepped forward onto a pure-white woollen rug and their father placed a cape woven with golden thread over his shoulders, signifying that he was the Crown Prince. The thread caught the afternoon light and shone brilliantly. Sagum smiled widely enough to show his teeth.
Chagum felt a sharp pang of sorrow. He’d never spoken with Sagum very much, and didn’t often feel like they were brothers. He wasn’t sad because Sagum was dead, but because people had to die in the first place.
Sagum hadn’t wanted to die: that was certain. There’d been no warning then, at the ceremony that had made him the Crown Prince, that he’d be dead in less than a year. Sagum was going to be the next Mikado, but now, everything had changed.
Why did he have to die, leaving me to become the Crown Prince? That’s not what I want!
Chagum thought that destiny was a cruel thing.
"Why did Sagum have to die?” His voice was thin and shaky. “He wanted to be the Mikado… It isn’t fair."
Chagum felt like his chest was being ripped apart by the feral claws of a monster.
“Sagum wanted to live. He wanted to be the Mikado. I’d rather die than become the Mikado... Why am I still alive? It doesn’t make any sense. It’s not fair. How can I go back to the palace and live out my days as mute and pointless as sand in an hourglass? What do I have to look forward to?”
Chagum's wings were heavy as lead as he gazed down at the image of his golden brother. Everything he was thinking and saying was true. The life that awaited him back at the imperial palace wasn’t a life he wanted. He felt exhausted even thinking about returning to that life.
How wonderful would it feel to stop flying and sleep for a while? Maybe the First Queen would be less sad, then. And she couldn’t hate me if I was just... gone.
Wind blew in from the east; Chagum felt it gliding over his face. On the wind, barely audible at first, Chagum heard Tanda’s voice. "If you ever lose your way, remember that Balsa and I see you as our son. Social status and blood ties don’t mean much to us. All we want is for you to be happy.”
There was a brilliant flash of light.
"Your power to fly is the same as your will to live. Fly! Cut through the pain and the darkness. You have the strength to do that. Balsa and I both know that you have what it takes."
An image of Balsa appeared in his mind’s eye. She stood in front of him protectively, pointing her spear at the terrifying monster, Rarunga. She was willing to put her life on the line to protect a child that wasn't even hers.
Balsa’s had many things stolen from her. Her parents, a normal life. But Balsa would never run away into a dream like this. Even if she wanted to, she never would.
Power swelled within Chagum’s chest, strengthening with every beat of his wings. He felt his body rising on the wind. For the first time ever, he felt that his life was a precious thing. It could be taken from him at any time. That was easy to forget.
Before his eyes, the cold, vast landscape of Nayugu stretched out to the horizon. He hadn’t seen Nayugu like this since he’d been the Nyunga Ro Im--the guardian of the spirit. Nayugu was still and peaceful: a quiet, bare mountain range.
Chagum flew, weightless, following the glowing line of his Soul Thread. The light around him intensified; he was surrounded by it. He jerked awake with something like real violence, sitting straight up and gasping for air. The feel of the silk dressing gown on his skin told Chagum that he was awake and in his chambers. His heart thudded painfully in his chest.
That was a strange dream.
He would have to tell Tanda that his guidance with the Soul Thread had worked. Magic weaving was amazing.
There was a sound like breaking glass: someone had dropped a teacup. It was Chagum’s chamberlain--the man who usually took care of Chagum.
“Rasam,” Chagum said. “Is everything all right?”
"Y…Your Highness…" The chamberlain bowed his head, then turned on his heel and ran down the hallway shouting, "His Highness has awakened!”
The chamberlain returned awhile later, escorting a physician. They informed Chagum that he’d been asleep for three days. That knowledge jolted Chagum’s memory: recollections of the long-asleep First Queen, his meeting with Shuga and his encounter with Tanda hit him full force. "Oh, no! Call Shuga immediately!"
Chagum never shouted at his attendants. They looked at him with apprehension in their eyes even as they moved to obey. Chagum calmed himself a little, then rephrased his earlier order. "Please Inform Star Reader Shuga that I have urgent business with him."
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