Traveler of the Void
Part 1 - City on the Sea
Chapter 6 - Eshana's Ring
The flames of the candles lit inside the palace's salu lamps wavered. These lamps were made of large orange shells with naturally curved-in sides that blocked out wind and spread light more widely and evenly than ordinary lamps could. The shells that these lamps were made of were exceedingly rare, so salu lamps were a luxury that was only available at the royal palace.
Chagum sat in his rooms, not in a chair, but on one of the raised cushions with a low back support that had been brought from New Yogo. He balanced on one knee and leaned back in his seat. He had cleared the rooms of most people shortly before, so now it was just him and Shuga, who was looking at him with a complicated expression.
"There is nothing to be done, Your Majesty," Shuga said. "This is not your problem to solve."
Chagum frowned at Shuga's severe tone. "Why not? This is about saving someone's life. That girl definitely smells just like the waters of Nayugu. She's like I was. There has to be something we can do."
Chagum rubbed his arms in an unconscious gesture of self-comfort. "I remember everything. I remember how it felt as the Nyunga Ro Im grew inside me—it was like my soul was getting smaller and smaller. Sometimes I'd lose all sensation in my arms and legs. I couldn't see or hear... I lost control of all of my senses. The Nyunga Ro Im took over my mind and moved me without my knowledge or consent.
"In my case, the Nyunga Ro Im was always working desperately to save me, and itself, when it did things like that. And I was able to see another world—but it wasn't Nayugu, and it wasn't Sagu. The world I saw was a strange one, where the two worlds overlapped. My body could be walking up a mountain slope while my soul was underwater in Nayugu—under so far and so deep that the clear blue water seemed to have no bottom. But I could see parts of Sagu when I was there, too—uprooted trees floating past, or fish that couldn't see me..."
Chagum lifted his eyes and looked at Shuga sitting across from him. "That girl can't see, doesn't seem to hear, and moves as if her soul has left her body. She's just like—"
"She's not like you were," Shuga says. "She is different. Your Majesty, please be calm and think. That girl can't do anything for herself at all, can she? She is simply led around by others. In your case, the egg of the Nyunga Ro Im only took over your body to keep you safe and to get you to the location where it needed to hatch. A spirit like that is not manipulating this girl. She does not appear to be in control of her own movements at all. She is entirely dependent on other people to direct her."
Even if their situations weren't the same, one thing still disturbed Chagum deeply, and that was the white cloth that had covered the girl's eyes. He tried to put his cold dread into words, but as he struggled to do so, he realized that Shuga was right. The egg of the Nyunga Ro Im had possessed him when it had wanted to go home, or when it had needed to keep him safe, but otherwise it had allowed him control over his own movements. And when he had been possessed by the spirit, trying to lead him anywhere the egg didn't want to go would not have worked—he would have shaken off his guides and ran to wherever the egg wanted him to be. Putting a cloth over his eyes would probably have had no effect.
"But even if that's true—" Chagum tried to argue, but Shuga calmly interrupted him.
"Your Majesty. You have said that you desire to save this girl's life. Let's say for the sake of argument that she is exactly as you were. How would you save her?"
"I would explain what has happened to her to the King."
"And what evidence would you present?"
Chagum was at a loss. He understood what Shuga was saying: his experience was his own and didn't necessarily apply to this situation. Just because his and Eshana's experiences resembled one another did not mean they were the same.
"I have been learning about Nayugu from Master Torogai for four years,” Shuga said in a low voice. There are things about Nayugu that even she does not know. There probably are other spirits very like the water spirit that laid its egg in you in this world. Certainly, there is knowledge of such spirits that has been passed down since before the founding of New Yogo."
"Then we should at least try to verify that it's the same kind of spirit," Chagum said. "Shuga, that's what I want to do. You learned how to do a Soul Call from Torogai, didn't you? Just try it, once, for me—please? Try to call that girl's soul back."
"Your Majesty—"
"I know I'm asking you to do something dangerous,” Chagum said, interrupting him. "But if we just sit here and do nothing, that little girl is going to be thrown to her death. When I think about it, I..."
"Your Majesty." Shuga extended his hands and placed them on Chagum's shoulders. Chagum looked at Shuga with an expression of shock. Touching the Crown Prince without permission or cause was considered a grave offense for someone as low in status as Shuga. But Chagum did not protest. He was stunned silent by Shuga's expression.
Shuga enunciated each of his next words carefully, but his voice was barely louder than a whisper. "Calm down, and consider the position you are in. You are a foreign guest at the coronation celebration of a new king. Do you really intend to flout the customs and beliefs of this place, even after the King of Sangal has begged for your cooperation?"
Going against the king's wishes on the matter of the girl was likely not something that would be easily forgiven.
We're talking about saving someone's life, Chagum thought, but because of who I am, my hands are tied. There has to be something I can do. Chagum's chest hurt. He was profoundly irritated with himself. He felt helpless to do anything at all.
Slowly, carefully, Shuga removed his hands from Chagum's shoulders. Chagum's irritation collapsed to nothing. Of course Shuga was right. Shuga always thought of Chagum's safety and how best to guide him first and foremost. But that didn't make him feel better.
Chagum clenched his fists so tight that he left the impressions of his nails on his palms. Even after Shuga withdrew, Chagum couldn't sleep and stood staring out of a window in his rooms. He lifted the slatted shutters on the window and let in the sea air. It ruffled Chagum's hair, fluttered his clothes and cooled the sweat drying on his skin. It was the middle of the night, but the weather was still warm. The cool breeze carried a touch of salt. Beyond the palace and the rows of houses outside, Chagum could see the pitch-dark surface of the ocean, lit faintly silver by moonlight.
While he stared at the moonlit waves, the sound of the wind increased in volume and took on a cadence that was like a melody. Suddenly, sharp cold pain spread from his forehead to the rest of his body. He blinked. When he opened his eyes he thought he was seeing an illusion.
Water the color of lapis lazuli hung suspended from the night sky outside his window. He was soaked in the scent of the water spirit: it was the exact smell he remembered. He felt somehow that he was repeating something that had happened before.
The waves in the sky were not the same color or shape as the waves in the ordinary ocean. They were lighter, like waves lit by the sun at dawn. Then the window, the floor, the room—everything vanished as Chagum was sucked into the bright blue waves.
Inside that vast expanse of blue were innumerable tiny points of light. The green-yellow lights danced through the water, flitting past and around him, leaving trails of illumination in their wake. Their paths were as true and straight as arrows. The glowing light they emitted brightened when they moved and dimmed when they stood still, making them appear like fireflies in the dark.
Yona Ro Gai...the water dwellers!
Chagum remembered the water dwellers of Nayugu. They often lived in large groups and danced together joyfully just as they were now. He heard a high-pitched song with a slow melody, delicate and lovely enough to pluck at the strings of his heart...an irresistibly entrancing song.
From the depths of the sea below him, voices beyond number sang this song. Lights danced and swirled around him, leaving bright trails through the water. They seemed to be coming closer to him.
Chagum noticed that he was situated on a high undersea cliff. The ocean floor spread out beneath him, as bright and illumined as if it were high noon. Nothing seemed so beautiful to him as that ocean floor. He felt like he was being invited there and that he should go—just swim down and...
Something pulled him sharply back to himself. Chagum looked down at his hands and saw the signet ring of the Crown Prince of New Yogo around his middle finger. The music, the water, and the dancing lights faded away, leaving him standing at the window of his room once more.
Chagum put his hands on the cool windowsill and sucked in a harsh breath while continuing to stare at his hands. His heart pounded so hard it hurt. What was that? Had he been in Nayugu, just now?
This palace must be in Nayugu's ocean.
Nayugu overlapped with Sagu. Even if a place was on land in Sagu, it could easily be underwater in Nayugu. Chagum knew this, but he didn't understand how he had gone to Nayugu so easily. Even magic weavers couldn't see Nayugu without making special preparations first. It was possible that his time with the water spirit had made him sensitive to Nayugu in some way—enough for him to see it like that. But the spirit's egg had long since hatched and left him, so he shouldn't be connected to Nayugu anymore.
He revisited what he'd just seen in his mind and remembered something else. Blown on the wind, in the narrow space between Sagu and Nayugu, he had seen a shigu salua flower.
Could it have been that?
The shigu salua flower bloomed in places that connected the worlds. He'd seen the same flower when he'd gone to the Land of Feasting with the water spirit. But he didn't see any shigu salua here, in his rooms.
Maybe shigu salua aren't the only thing that can open the door between worlds.
Piercing cold spread through his chest like ice. He felt unsteady on his feet. He had a feeling like a door in his mind had just unlocked, and that if he opened it, he could go to Nayugu at any time. But why did he feel so much terror at such a possibility? He took shallow breaths to calm down so that he could try to discover the source of his uneasiness.
Eventually, he framed his sense of dread as something like a fear of loss. Like two measures of salt on a scale, Sagu and Nayugu existed in equilibrium. By opening the door, he could tip the scale. If either side tipped too far, Chagum had the feeling that one side or the other would completely disappear.
He didn't know how he understood these things. It was just a feeling. And he still didn't entirely understand how he'd been lured to Nayugu's ocean in the first place.
Why is the world like this? Why was I born like this? The last question was the hardest one for him to grapple with.
What he did understand was that the royal palace of Sangal was at the bottom of the ocean in Nayugu, and that people like Chagum that had spent time between the two worlds before could hear the voices of the water dwellers. So much seemed obvious.
But that meant that the little girl must have heard those voices, too—and been dragged all the way down to the bottom of the sea in Nayugu. Chagum shook all over.
Maybe her soul can't return. Maybe she's trapped.
Nayugu was very beautiful, but human thoughts—and even human lives—held about as much worth there as a grain of sand. He considered the egg's unrelenting single-mindedness when it had taken him over and understood what his life must have been worth in Nayugu. The egg had only used him so that it could hatch. But he did not believe that the water spirit was evil. Like a child reflexively obeying a parent, it had been reactionary to another's will.
Chagum had been close to dying, more than once. If the egg had not saved him, he would have died for sure—the monsters pursuing him would have ripped him open to devour the egg, and he would be dead now.
He thought about the ethereal, majestic beauty of the bottom of Nayugu's ocean. It would be so easy to entice people there, as he'd almost been. People who were successfully lured there were like pebbles dropped above water, inexorably sinking into the deep, never to surface again.
That seemed true of ordinary people, but if it was him—maybe he could chase down the girl. It was likely that he could find the girl in Nayugu. But then he'd have to open the door in his heart and enter Nayugu...and he feared the consequences.
He could find her. He was sure of it. But he wasn't sure he'd be able to bring either of them back to Sagu afterwards.
Prince Tarsan was also passing a sleepless night. He kept thinking about Eshana's radiant smile just after he'd given her the seashell ring, and couldn't even attempt to sleep. His brother and his oldest sister's husband, the Island Guardian Adol, had guessed at his true feelings, casting him scornful smiles as Eshana had been led past him. Those smiles had seemed to say that a prince had no need to care for a fisherman's daughter.
Brother, that's enough. Leave it, Tarsan thought. The ceiling above him was liberally embedded with shells the color of mother-of-pearl. A faint light like starlight reflected faintly from it. Tarsan thought it looked a little like the night sky seen from the deck of a ship.
On board a ship, the orders of the captain had similar weight to those of the King of Sangal. If a captain of the ship was experienced and knowledgeable, Tarsan would obey their orders without a scrap of hesitation, even though he was a prince. Sailing over a bottomless ocean with a boundless sky overhead, one's comrades became very much like a family that would live and die for one another.
Even though his brother was about to become the King of Sangal, he was sure that Karnan had never felt such camaraderie with a ship's crew in his entire life. Tarsan had been raised on Kalsh, a tiny windswept island not far from the capital. Long ago, Tarsan's ancestors had set sail from Kalsh. Of course, they'd had to conceal the fact that they were pirates in order to move freely. So much was common knowledge.
But his ancestors had been no ordinary pirates. No one would be willing to follow a leader that only took from their followers while giving nothing in return. Tarsan's ancestors understood that precept well and generously rewarded everyone that gave them faithful service. As their followers and wealth increased, the rulers of Sangal became wise in their treatment of others.
If Sangal's rulers have prospered, it's because they never threw away the hearts of the common people, Tarsan thought. He believed his ancestors would have understood him. The King of Sangal could not afford to be aloof and distant like the rulers of the northern countries if he wanted to unite the strong-willed people of the sea.
If only my uncle were still alive. Tarsan remembered Yunan well. As the younger brother of King Tafmur and High General of Sangal, he had been a true man of the sea. Yunan had told him often as he'd grown up that Sangal's King and the nation's people were bound by strong ties, as close as family. "If you understand the hearts of your people, they will believe in you. Advise your brother well, and the two of you will lead this country in the right direction."
Tarsan had spent much of his time living, working, and playing among the common people of Sangal. The Island Guardian Adol often said behind his back that Tarsan would have been happier as a fisherman than a prince, but Tarsan didn't care what he said. Besides, it was true.
For his part, Tarsan thought that Adol should have more direct contact with the people he ruled. He had married into the royal family, which seemed to fill him with pride—pride that Tarsan wasn't sure was deserved. He looked down his nose at the people of Kalsh. Tarsan didn't think that a man like that, who not only didn't know the hearts of his people but had no interest in knowing them, could be relied upon to lead or defend his people.
Soldiers that fought for the Island Guardians, and for the King himself, were almost all the sons of fishermen. Tarsan's personal guards had all come from Kalsh and its nearby islands. Every one of them was considered a Yaltash Shuri: a brother of the sea. If he didn't understand their motivations and convictions deeply, he was certain that he wouldn't be able to lead them.
One by one, he recalled the weather-beaten faces of all the Yaltash Shuri that he knew. Some served the King, or an Island Guardian, or himself, but their first loyalty was always to the sea. That was the source of their strength. He had been raised, not as a prince, but as an ordinary boy and man that had to earn his place just like everyone else.
The first time he had demonstrated sufficient skill at diving and the strength of his arm with a harpoon, he had been formally recognized by the Yaltash Shuri as one of their own. That had been one of the happiest days of his life. The men that guarded him now were those same men. He trusted them utterly and knew they would do as he ordered because they trusted him, too.
As he remembered the place he'd grown up, the face of Eshana rose up in his mind's eye. I wonder what Yata would do now. Tarsan remembered him with respect and a twinge of sadness.
Eshana's father Yata was about Karnan's age when he died. He was an incredible diver and fisherman. People said that he'd received the breath of the Nayugul Raita as a birthright. No one could match him at diving or deep-sea fishing. He could hold his breath for so long that people teased him about being part fish. He could also dive to the bottom of the ocean floor to depths that many people couldn't manage, due to the pressure. Even the form of his dive elicited universal admiration. He would jump straight up and then out like an arrow, all speed, leaving behind a trail of tiny white bubbles in the water behind him.
Yata was a man of few words, but when he laughed, the whole room laughed with him. A large group of people, usually children, followed him around during the day. He taught them everything he knew about diving and fishing.
Yata taught many of the island's children how to swim. Tarsan was one of those children, along with one or two others that he considered fierce diving competitors. Aside from Yata himself, the only person he knew of that could hold their breath longer underwater than he could was a Rassharō girl named Surina.
Yata always praised Surina. When he was very young, it galled Tarsan to constantly lose to Surina, but Surina was a gracious winner and a genuinely kind person. She also took no personal pride in her own diving skills. Tarsan and Surina learned diving and fishing from Yata together; eventually, they became good friends.
Tarsan remembered diving to great depths and feeling absolutely terrified as he seemed to shrink smaller and smaller in the cold dark sea, his breath running out. At those times, Surina would look him in the eye and smile. He ate with Surina at Yata's house and they played with Eshana together. Eshana greatly resembled her father. She wasn't a talkative child, but when she laughed, her face lit up with a cheerful light bright enough to shine all the way to the ocean floor. She was adorable, and adored.
Yata failed to come home after a storm at sea half a year ago. Tarsan stayed up all night with Eshana and Yata's wife Sasha. He prayed with them and all the people of Kalsh. Tarsan still couldn't believe that Yata had died at sea, but the facts were the facts: he had died, along with five other strong men.
And now Eshana's life had been snatched away as well. Tarsan could only imagine Sasha's pain at being left all alone.
Tarsan was just about to drift off to sleep when a something startled him awake. He thought he heard Eshana crying out. It was possible that it was all just a terrible dream, but the sound of Eshana's wretched sobbing made his blood pound in his veins.
He bolted out of bed. Where is Eshana's room?
She'd probably been placed somewhere along the western edge of the palace in an interior room, based on the status she'd been given. Tarsan steeled his resolve and prepared to go to her.
Just outside his door, his guards maintained their sleepless vigil. If Tarsan went out into the hallway, they would follow him. He took a step back and silently lowered himself out of his window onto the stone ground of the courtyard below. He took a moment to let his eyes adjust to the darkness outside, then started walking.
There would probably be priestesses and soldiers in and around Eshana's room. Tarsan didn't want to be seen, so he had no intention of entering her room through the door. His plan was to peek into her window from below to make sure that she wasn't crying. If she was crying, it might be a sign that her soul had returned to her body. Then she wouldn't be the Eyes of the Nayugul Raita any longer. She would just be a terrified or injured little girl.
Tarsan's bare feet were completely soaked by the grass in the courtyard gardens, but he barely noticed. He stopped under the window of Eshana's room and found it wide open. Tarsan put his ear to the wall and listened for any signs of movement on the other side.
Nothing.
He heard absolutely nothing—not crying, not even the sound of Eshana breathing in her sleep. After listening for a little while, Tarsan frowned. If the soldiers and priestesses were still awake, he should hear them moving. It seemed like there were no people in the room.
She must not be here.
Tarsan put both hands on the windowsill of Eshana's room and hoisted himself up. Dimly, as outlines, he identified the figure of Eshana, white cloth still hanging over her head. She stood with her back to him. Tarsan thought she was alone at first, but as his eyes adjusted to the room's total darkness, he realized that she was surrounded by the supine forms of soldiers and priestesses. They were sprawled out on the floor around her as if they were sleeping—or dead.
Tarsan gasped. Even though Eshana couldn't see—could she?—she turned around and faced Tarsan directly. Then she brought her hands up to her still-covered eyes and began to cry.
The sound was so heartbreaking that Tarsan jumped down from the windowsill into the room without thinking. He rushed to Eshana, reaching out for her hand as he said, "Did you come back? Ssh, it's okay now. You're all right. Please don't be scared."
The moment he touched her hand, a sharp pain shot from his hand to his spine. Tarsan had a sudden, agonizing headache. He lost consciousness before he could call for help.
Tarsan's eyes closed. Moving like a puppet on strings, he removed Eshana's ring from her finger and slipped it onto his own little finger. The ring was so small that he could not push it beyond his first knuckle.
The next morning, Tarsan woke up in his own bed. He'd completely forgotten about sneaking into Eshana's room the previous night. His head felt heavy. His mind wandered in a fog. He had trouble thinking about much of anything.
Tarsan sighed as he left his bed and did not even notice the tiny ring sitting below the first knuckle of his little finger.
Oh, I feel so sorry for Chagum. He's got PTSD from his experiences as the Nyunga Ro Chaga, and not only does his position as crown prince mean his life is regimented and isolated, but now it's forcing him to betray his morality. :( I wonder if it's symbolic that his signet ring is what brings Chagum back from Nayug.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Chagum's the one who should be studying with Torogai - seems like he's just naturally magic, now. And he's about to do what Tanda failed at, and what even Torogai struggles with, as easily as stepping through a door. That's some kinda power, there.
The climax of this book is pretty wild. Chagum is just kind of...naturally a better magic weaver than Shuga. Whodathunkit? (It'll definitely come in useful, though. :) )
DeleteChapters like this make me think Uehashi was considering that her audience might be aging. We didn't get a whole lot of Chagum's experiences with the egg as he was going through it, at least not at this level of detail. If you consider that the intended audience of the first book was 8 (and this one 11-12), it makes sense to include more of the psychological impacts; trying to explain all this to an 8-year-old would either be too scary (body horror/manipulation) or go way over their heads.
Chagum has *not* given up. It's not his way. But he is going to have to approach the problem from another angle.
I see what you mean about the story entering horror-movie territory at this point. It's also rather sad - you can't help but feel for Eshana (or Tarsan for that matter).
ReplyDeleteMy opinion that Adol is a jerk has been reaffirmed. I feel like Tarsan and Chagum hava SO MUCH in common - both of them are second sons, both understand that effective royalty cannot be divorced from the commoners, both are in many ways trapped by their status and the dictates of their society, and both are determined to act in spite of that. Karnan is a jerk, too. You would think that he at least, as a grown man, might have a bit more maturity. But then, you'd also think that the Sangal kings wouldn't be raised in splendor and isolation at all. Like, you would think the crown prince would be raised spending plenty of time on the ocean with tradesmen and fishermen, too. Especially with their macho culture. I bet if Tarsan were a grownup and it came down to a fight, he would kick Karnan's ass.
Tarsan is now (as of the end of the chapter) being manipulated by Talsh, and their line of reasoning exactly matches what's in your last paragraph, which means that dissension (in a big way) between the two brothers is coming. But Tarsan always saw his role as a counselor to his brother; the Talsh are the ones to exploit the differences in their upbringing.
DeleteEshana is finally going to get a tiny bit of relief in the next chapter, but she won't be saved for a long while. :( Fortunately everyone realizes how crazily out of character Tarsan is acting almost right away, so although he faces severe consequences for his actions while under Talsh control, he doesn't spend a lot of time as their puppet.
And (as you might expect) Karnan plays a more significant role a bit later, as does the King of Sangal, so we can at least attempt to see the other side of things. (Also, the classist push for legitimacy is also being fanned to flames by Talsh whisper campaigns and propaganda. Why am I not surprised...)
To reply to your reply (now that I've finished the chapter), I predict that Chagum is going to do a soul call on Eshana and bring her back from Nayug himself. I'm just not sure how the Talsh enter the plot (except the bit from the book summary about an attempt on the king's life) and I'm really not sure how Surina is going to come into play. I think Tarsan's in big trouble, though - this sounds like some mind control stuff. I also can't figure out what the Nayugul Raita's/Lighters' agenda is here. It's like Shuga said: the Nyunga Ro Im was different, it only commandeered Chagum's body to protect itself. These Nayugul Raita have a more deliberate and sinister feeling to them.
ReplyDeleteYou're mostly right, and missing only one important component. The hint is in this chapter, and when you figure it out (like I did) you're probably going to smack yourself in the forehead. (The biggest hint I'll give you is to look at Chagum's ruminations on whether or not the Nyunga Ro Chaga was evil.)
DeleteChagum *is* going to save Eshana (with a bit of an assist from Shuga). But who will save the Sangal royal family? The answer to that is a bit more complicated (Karina's role expands), and Surina's role is a lot more helpful than it might seem at this particular point in time. And yes, Tarsan is in trouble with a capital T.
I kinda remembered something about Tarsan being controlled by the Talsh and made to attempt to kill Karnan... or maybe the king. I really don't see how he can be held accountable, though - it's not HIS fault he's been mind-controlled.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if the Talsh get a lot of countries that way. "Overthrow your rulers! Be a democracy! (Under the guidance of our Empire, of course.) We will help you! (In exchange for your taxes/men/adhering to our social guidelines/etc.) Democracy now!"
I look forward to the Sangal women having an expanded role in the coming chapters. Surina is a badass so far, and Saruna is wise and charming. I like Tarsan, too, well-meaning dumb kid that he is. But all of the grown Sangal men (except the Rassharou) have been lousy so far....
Expect to Not Like the King of Sangal. He and the Mikado could compete for worst father of the year.
ReplyDeleteSome brave Sangal men are going to stand up, though, and I think you'll like them.
As for the Talsh, you are going to get their strategies as well as a pretty detailed (and fascinating) history of Yogo firsthand in just a few chapters. All of the chapters in part 2 are looong, though (30-40 pages each), so it may be a wee bit longer between updates for part 2. IIRC, the chapters in part 3 are quite a bit shorter.
Surina, Sulina and Karina all play a big role in saving Tarsan from the ax. We've just tipped past the halfway point of this novel, so there's still a considerable ways to go.
Welp. The track record of the kings of this particular region of this fantasy world is not what you'd call stellar. Rogsam, the Mikado, Tafmur, Raul's dad... welp welp welp. Good thing the younger generation seems to be better (at least, Chagum and Radalle). Yosam seemed like a cool dude in the drama, so maybe he'll be the one to break the mold. >_<
ReplyDeleteI'm amazed we're only halfway through! This book is way longer than I expected. (Not complaining, though. ^_^)
This book has a very "everything that rises must converge" sort of plot, which means that every little detail is used and called back to at some point. This is the longest book in the series, by about 30-50 pages (depending on your edition). Yosam himself is less of a terrible person than Rogsam and the Mikado (and Tafmur I think is just easily led?), but that's not a high bar. Ihan was always the one I liked better.
ReplyDeleteHuh, I would have expected the last one to be the longest, or something like that. I have mad respect for authors who can do the kind of plot where little hints and pieces are sprinkled throughout for the finale, and everything ties in together. (Speaking of Agatha Christie, lol.) I feel like that's an especially difficult kind of story to tell because you have to know every little thing about the plot in advance.
DeleteI now remember that Yosam was the one who (in the drama, at least) trashed Torishia's village and drove her and Ihan apart, so... that's not cool. Of course, the actor who played Ihan is quite handsome imo, and that certainly endeared his character to me. XD But he also had a surprisingly tiny role in the drama, at least compared to what I expected. I had envisioned something a bit more Lord of the Rings like for the grand finale, with Chagum riding ahead of the other kings into battle, a la that one part in Return of the King where Aragorn rides out to meet the forces of Mordor at the gate. But the other kings (and their security forces, like Shihana, Kahm, and Jin, who I also expected to be in the vanguard) had an itsy bitsy role. I can't even remember if Ihan had any lines in Season 3? And I think Jin was in one episode? And Kahm basically got written out of the plot except for when he fought Balsa, and I don't remember if Shihana was in it after the Kashal got massacred, either. So, TL;DR, I wouldn't mind if Ihan had a larger role in the books than he did in the drama.
From what I remember of the finale (and remember: my Japanese is much better now :) ), you're going to get your wish. The battle is coordinated between commanders with Chagum in the lead, now sporting a nasty facial scar and being a literal upstart because the Mikado's got it in his head that Chagum's at war with him, somehow. (He's delusional. Obviously.) All the characters get expanded roles in the books based in their homelands; Rota, Kanbal(again! Yay!) and New Yogo all get their own volume.
Delete"Traveler of the Void" is very old-school drama, where there are plots, counter-plots, misunderstandings, (some) understandings, and finally, a climax where All Is Revealed. I can't wait to get to the dancing assassins bit. I don't remember how Chagum saw that coming. I remember getting chills at the end of this book and jumping immediately into the next one...which will probably be the case when I finally finish translating this.
I think you'll like Traveler of the Blue Road for its extended Jin (and general Hunter) screen time, though I can't promise you they're all good people, unfortunately. :(
If Chagum sees an assassination coming, I bet Balsa will have something to do with it (from afar, of course). I am sooooo not surprised that the Mikado continues to be The Worst in "Heaven and Earth", but after reading "Void", thus far, I'm actually also not surprised that Chagum grows up to become a badass. (He gets it from his mother[s]. XD) I do hope Mon shows up again; the only ones I know are in "Blue Road" for sure are Jin and Yun. I know the broad strokes of the plot of Blue Road, since I researched it extensively for my fanfic. But, of course, reading an actual story is way different from reading people's summaries of a story on the internet. XD
ReplyDeleteAside from the first chapter narrated by Mon in the first book, I don't recall us getting too deep into his head again...but it's possible I missed it. I am translating sentence-by-sentence, so I definitely won't deprive you of Mon if he's there.
DeleteAnd "Blue Road" is, what? Three, four months away at this rate? So barring catastrophe (knocks wood), you'll be able to read it fairly soon.
Weelp, the bell is tolling on that fanfic of mine. (Considering I decided to write it because I *couldn't* read the original...) Then again, I can link people to your translation at the end of the fic and they can do their own comparison. XD Maybe I'll call it a fix-it? An AU? LOL. I just would never in a million years have guessed that someone would come along to translate the series at breakneck speed like this. It's awesome.
DeleteWell, you are definitely motivating me to keep the pace up--and it is (as predicted) getting easier; I went 15 pages without a dictionary yesterday before I got stuck on something, and that's a new personal record. My main limitations are hand fatigue (since I translate longhand) and typing speed. XD
DeleteI think you could go places with the plot in "Blue Road" that never occurred to Uehashi. The drama isn't a perfectly faithful rendition, after all (the cliffhanger in the book is a lot more devastating). And using canon from other sources to fix book canon is something I do all the time for "Dororo" (since film/anime tends to be kinder than the manga). So don't let the author dictate what you want to write. Fan fiction is for the fans, not the author. :)
My New Year's Resolution for 2021 is to finish translating the series. It may not take me all year, but work does swing up and down in terms of hours and complexity so I've given myself plenty of time. If I keep going at my current pace, I'll be done in September.
Oi, that's great! I'm happy that this is actually helping your Japanese improve. Shoot, by the time you finish you might be looking at a side-career as a translator? XD I've told a number of friends that someone on the internet is translating Moribito and they've all been suitably impressed at the lightning pace with which you're doing it. ^_^ Anyhow, I'm still amazingly grateful and every time I go to continue these comments thread and find there is already a new chapter up, I go a little slackjawed. The Shinkansen of Translators!
DeleteMy Blue Road definitely doesn't jive super much with the drama version, primarily because I started writing it before I saw the drama. I mean, the basic strokes are there, and it was hard, once I'd seen it, to not let that HORRIBLE HORRIBLE Mikado get into my psyche... IDK, I drew tons and tons of inspiration from a single fanart, a putative book cover (https://tegaki.pipa.jp/25022/19921620.html), so the Raul in my head is middle-aged, stocky, tall, brawny - not very similar to the boy-band-looking Raul from the drama. (Not to cast any shade on that actor's portrayal - he definitely radiated danger. Just a different kind from what I imagined.) But I loved the set design for the Talsh and I think that infected me, too. And their fancy gold-and-black clothing with the crazy patterns. (And also a couple pages of a fancomic that *might* be NSFW but I can't read it or even think of trying to interpret it cuz the person's writing is absolute chickenscratch, but it's in a batch-post with a bunch of, ahem, non-family-friendly artworks. https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/41532609 It's amazing how fertile one's imagination can become when trying to figure out what the heck is going on in a context-free image...) TL;DR Hunters all the time, yada yada, I'm pretty sure the prison break scene in the original book is a quarter of the length of the version I wrote. XDX
...That's an emote for "I can't decide which is more appropriate here, XD or DX".
I'd have to be certified as a translator first, and I emphatically am not. I've heard that's hard. But if I make it through this particular translation gauntlet (2300 pages) I may be motivated to take a class or a test and see what translation credentials will get me. (When you translate for work, you don't get to choose what you translate. I do some spot-checking on Japanese translations for work now, and most of it's pretty dull.)
DeleteI made myself a project schedule for these translations, so I am definitely cooking with gas on my end. Dates subject to change, of course, but I hope it won't be by much. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HBLoDRPSqPfgrG_NXSIs2Z65E5e6HSWL/view
There is significant Hunter screen time in "Blue Road," but it's definitely not all Hunters all the time. XD I think that novel-Raul is kind of a mashup between that fanart and the drama version. Raul is definitely significantly older than Chagum, and much brawnier and militaristic...but I don't think he's quite *that* old. (Are we sure that's not his dad? :) ) I liked the drama's casting because we missed Chagum's character contrast with Tarsan (who's the same age) and contrasting him with a similarly-aged Raul produces similar effects, though it also has the effect of making Raul a less sinister villain. Overall the drama is well-acted and characterized, with a few glaring omissions and cuts (which I get; as an adaptation it gets full marks, but it's not perfect).
The yaoi link did not surprise me, and yet somehow it still did. XD And wow, is that handwriting *bad*. Way worse than my Japanese handwriting, which is...really, really awful. (Like, kana's okay, but I do shorthand kanji in notes and those are basically scribbles.)
I'm really glad to be sharing this story. It makes me happy to think that fans will be able to read all the way to the end in a year or so. My main worry (read: crushing anxiety) is that I don't do it justice. (Internal monologue: "Why don't you find a better translator that can do this better and that isn't you?") But I'm definitely trying my best. :)
Well, I find this translation to be pretty good - not that I now what the original is like, but this read naturally and tends to suck me in, which strikes me as a good sign. So your inner doubts are probably wrong. :P
ReplyDeleteI'll tell you, in trolling the internets for fanart, fanfiction, and anything else I could find about Moribito, I stumbled upon some... really unfortunate stuff. The worst was Balsa x Jiguro (ew! no! ew!) and (shudder) Jin x Chagum... CHILD CHAGUM. WHY?! For whatever reason, Jin seems to be people's favorite person to pair off with... nearly anyone, actually. I have yet to see him paired with Tanda, but pretty much everyone else - Balsa, Shuga, every one of the other Hunters except Rai and Zen. There's also a fair amount of Tanda x Shuga floating around, and Shuga x Mon, and *ahem* Hunter x Hunter. (stupid pun I've never ever seen that series ugh) Someone even did Sagum x Sun... so random. I guess this is a case of Rule 34: if you can name it, it exists. IDK man, it's weird. All these OOC pairings make me feel defensive for the characters' sakes. >_< One particularly talented artist, whose website is now gone, got into my head, unfortunately, though, and now I think of Yun as like... this borderline sex offender, constantly struggling to keep himself under control. It's terrible. (Their art was really, really good though.... DX)
Wow, that was another accidental essay. Speaking of contrasting Chagum with other rulers, I think Radalle was also a good counterpoint to him, both in the drama and in the book. I thought Raul was still suitably vicious, but he did seem less calculating and more a loose cannon than what I assume book Raul to be. (People also ship him and Hyuugo like mad. Also him and Chagum. At least in the drama the age difference is smaller....)
In conclusion, you are super organized! Man. I'm impressed.
I write for work. Organization is expected. :P
DeleteYou don't need to warn me about oversexed fandom...my first fandom ever was Xena: Warrior Princess, and this was back in the days before Ao3 (ff.net was brand new), and I was part of so many listservs that were, um, not child safe, even though I was very much a child (11, at the height of my fandom) and very much consuming and producing media that was not child safe (extreme violence and gore was an issue in that fandom, too, not just sex). The internet is a very dangerous playground. Still, I'm glad I had that experience, and had it relatively young. There was this amazing woman (literature professor from Canada) that shadowed/mentored me for a while in one of the listservs. She was an incredible writer, fun to beta for and be beta'd by, and she gave both my writing skill and my passion for writing a huge boost when I was a kid. She died when I was 13, but I think about her still.
I took a look at the popular tags for Moribito on Ao3...*sigh* Sometimes fic is true to canon (and sometimes it's better than canon!), but it often isn't. I think part of being a fan is reconciling your version of canon with what actually happens. I also think there are a fair number of writers that see a picture of two characters together and think "what if...?" I'm 100% free expression and people writing whatever the heck they want, but I outgrew the shock value of porn on the internet a very long time ago.
Radalle is a nice counterpoint character to Chagum (I almost forgot that we do get a *tiny* bit of compare/contrast in their exchange that's coming up in a chapter or so). His father was also a jerk that handed him an absolute mess, and Radalle gets a chance to change and grow because of it...but his change is not as organic or as comfortable. He doesn't have a Balsa, or a Torogai, or a Tanda to help him be a better person, which is why I think he often comes off as brittle and weak. He's trying to figure out who he is apart from just being the son of his father.
Re: translation, you are too kind. :) The hand of the amateur shows in places, and I cringe, but I also feel myself getting sucked in for long stretches when I read it over for editing. I read "The Translator's Turn" an age ago, and my main approach when translating this is to give people the same impressions and pictures in their head as if they were reading this book with me, for pleasure. (That's what "The Translator's Turn" recommends for fiction.) Professional business translation is much more exacting (and challenging, and boring...), but fiction translation lets me have a bit of rope to have some fun.
DeleteI meeeeean, let's be honest, ALL fandom is oversexed. XD Everything I've ever written fanfiction for, the bulk of the stuff out there is porn. It's the nature of the internet... and of humanity. I bet in ancient Babylon there were people telling stories to each other that were porny slash fanfictions of Enkidu and Gilgamesh, or Hammurabi and... I dunno, their favorite lawyer? LOL people. (And someone just added Shuga x Chagum to the list of pairings, while I was busy not replying to comment replies. A-yup.) I mostly just get squicked at the underage stuff and the incestuous stuff. I mean, yeah, Balsa and Jiguro aren't blood relatives, but it's still gross imo. But, people gonna people.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice you had an older-person mentor. Sometimes I forget how great ff.net used to be. :/ *insert long rant about how nobody ever comments on anything anymore* I do like how AO3 lets you add a billion tags and do serieses as well as chapters, but the hit statistics on ff.net are way better, and the ability to add a cover image, new(ish) though it be, is really nice. My parents didn't let me use the internet at that age, and then I didn't even have internet for the longest time. How wonderful that you had a kind, experienced guide to shield you from the trolls and underbellies of the young internet. I met some friends online over the years, but most of those haven't stuck, sadly. But every once in a while you find a real gem, and your professor sounds like a priceless one.
I appreciated Radalle's cameo. He's slow to make a decision and doesn't seem to be one to commit (certainly not to commit readily). The way Uehashi showed it, too, it was kind of ambiguous whether Radalle made the decision to help all on his own, or if once Chagum was gone the Spears (or maybe just Kahm) discussed the matter further with him and convinced him to join the impromptu alliance. Chagum isn't exactly impulsive, but he definitely doesn't waffle once his mind is made up, and it doesn't take him long to know what to do - almost instinctively, really. But I think Radalle has grown noticeably since Darkness, so we'll see how much more he's come along by the time we get to Heaven and Earth.
The first significant online fandom was Star Trek. They started it. :P I'm aro/ace so I don't write much by way of porn unless it's requested (and I don't usually take requests...), but I definitely know it's out there. I'm really uncomfortable with underage stuff as well, and I'm especially uncomfortable with Balsa/Jiguro because of what we learn about that relationship in "Guardian of the God" (again, brace yourself; the drama chose not to cover that part and I don't really blame them).
DeleteMy parents had no idea what I was reading or doing on the internet; it was all too new, I think. I'm glad I had Tham (my fanfiction friend, and friend to many others) to direct me toward good writing, specifically, and not stuff that would scar me for life. XD And we did used to bother with long detailed comments--I don't know what changed in the past ten or twenty years, but I suspect there are too many things vying for our attention at once these days.
Radalle is under a lot of pressure. Imagine living in Rogsam's shadow. Being perceived as weak is a legitimate concern (compared to Rogsam, he *is* weak) and he's clearly conscious of his place on the world stage. I think it's sort of Chagum-esque for him to care so sincerely about the poverty of his people, but it's definitely Rogsam-esque to try to ignore potential problems until they go away, and to protect himself at all costs. Most of the King's Spears are a lot older than Radalle and understand the implications of refusing an alliance with New Yogo quite a bit better. It's to Radalle's credit that he listens to them--Rogsam's only desire was to dominate them and bend them to his will.
Yes, I have often stumbled across Star Trek porn on accident... there's a heck of a lot of it. I tend to avoid porny stuff, myself. (You've gotten REQUESTS? wow, man. I've got one lurker who very very occasionally shows up to say "please write more", but this person is the only one who is clearly following my work, at least sporadically. Oh, and people have requested I read their work, LOL.) I can't imagine what we're going to find out about Jiguro but... uh... I hope it's not too horrible because I liked Jiguro a lot in the drama especially. I'd hate to have him ruined the way the anime!Mikado was ruined...
DeleteWe were late adopters of the internet in my house. I remember we had this Macintosh Classic and when we hooked it up to the web for the first time, it immediately crashed. So we had to get a new computer, and then our internet was so slow that when I got Napster it would take 2 hours or so to download a single song. HO HO HO nostalgia. XD But I was also still using a floppy to transfer files when I started college, so I was behind the times - my best friend in undergrad had had the internet since she was like 9 or 10, and maintained a MySpace page, and a Livejournal, and probably was on listservs and stuff. But I also didn't have cable TV growing up, or a video game console, or any of the cool technology a lot of my friends had (but I'm not complaining - my current best friend wasn't even allowed to watch TV at all...). When I first discovered ff.net I was amazed at this great community where any story I posted would have at least one comment within a day of posting, and I had several readers who followed my multi-chapter stories and commented on every new installation. That was wonderful and it really spoiled me because now I get deeply discouraged when I receive no comments on anything. It's odd because I know there are still readers. Maybe people are scared to comment because people on the modern internet are so often mean and nasty for hardly any reason. Or maybe they just don't care enough, or they never learned that etiquette. IDK. ff.net isn't a very well maintained site, anymore, anyhow. Kind of sad.
Maybe once Radalle grows up and Rogsam fades into history he'll gain a bit of confidence and feel like he can be his own man, not just his lousy father's son. At least Rogsam seems to have cared about Radalle, what with his getting Yuguro to take care of him and protect his position and such.
I promise you that Jiguro won't be ruined in that way...in fact, I wound up liking him better at the end of it, because what we see of him is very human and flawed, and his and Balsa's ability to work through all that highlights both of their strengths as people. It's just painful to watch at times.
DeleteNapster! Oh, that takes me back. :) Limewire, too. My father, to his credit, always loved technology; we had a functional computer (with dial-up internet) by the time I was two. My mother was less pleased because things like that were quite expensive, so my dad had to pretend he'd bought it for me...which meant I spent 2-3 hours a day in front of a computer from the time I was two years old on. Yay for being a digital native! I never had my own video game consoles (until I was an adult...), but I went over to my friends' house all the time to kick their arses at Mario Kart. N64 was a left-hander's console and I always had the advantage. XD
I think ff.net and the listservs worked so well because a lot of us knew each other IRL, either from close geographic location or conventions and stuff. I'm definitely guilty of not leaving comments, though I usually do (and always leave kudos if I get to the end of a story and like it). I also think a lot of us are spoiled for choice, so what we're looking for in fic is highly specific. That means the huge buckets of commenters that may have read your story when there were less than a thousand fics in the fandom now have both more fic choices and more fandom choices. I adore real books, but even I find myself really wanting a set of detailed author's tags and notes to tell me what I'm getting into sometimes. XD
Kanbal is in a good position at the end of the series (not being half-drowned and all)...we'll see what becomes of Radalle then :)
Radalle will go down in history for his relief efforts - Radalle the great humanitarian, who bailed out New Yogo (maybe literally...?) when everything was flooded and all the crops were ruined and/or washed into the sea. XD
DeleteI had a friend who had an N64 and I *adored* MarioKart. Except instead of running the course, we would do nonsense like driving backwards around the whole circuit, or trying to get hit by the train in Kalahari Desert, or squished by the rocks in Bowser's Castle. That game was so much fun. I never felt deprived in not owning a console, but every time I went to a friend or family member's house who had one, I inevitably wasted hours on it. XD We did have a computer when I was small, but it was a hand-me-down from another family member and very, very basic. I think if we'd ever tried to connect that one to the net, it might literally have exploded. *long rambling rant about kids these days and how games were better and computers lasted longer and people were nicer on the internet &c.* It's amazing what an old lady I turned into the moment I hit 30, and it's getting worse every day. >_<
If I bother to read a story to the end, I'll always try to leave a comment (assuming I can think of something nice to say). I figure it's a Golden Rule kind of situation. Part of me hopes someday someone will come along and read everything I've ever written and comment it all - I'm sure everyone on AO3 wishes the same! (But then they don't comment, themselves...?) IDK, my mystery reader once commented, "You posted a new story.", no joke. That was the whole comment. So... not all comments are useful, either. And one positive is that I haven't been flamed in years. So, uh... double-edged sword...? XDX
Radalle does survive, so hey, it's possible. :) And Kanbal is probably a lot better off being less cold and arid.
DeleteMarioKart *was* fun as just an exploratory game. Games did used to be better, with rare exceptions (I've had fun with Dragon Age: Origins and Nioh (which is essentially "Dororo" with a western protagonist) during quarantine.) Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is still my favorite game. I have an N64 and the game, and I do pick it up on occasion because it still holds up, for the most part. I'm not an old lady yet, technology-wise, but work makes me learn a lot of new tools this year, so I think I've just barely managed to stay adaptable.
Hmm...well, I like your writing style, and what you tend to focus on, so perhaps when I'm on my next wild Ao3 reading streak I'll target your fics. :) I do tend to go in reading streaks, not read anything for awhile, and tear through stuff again, so I can't promise when I'll be in reading mode, but I'll try to direct my efforts in that direction.
Pfft, my complaints aren't aimed at you - you're translating the Moribito series for me (I mean, not just for me, but it feels kind of like it's a special gift just for me, soooo lol). I also hate it when people are like "Oh, can you read my fic, too?" and try hard not to emulate such behavior. I'm just ranting at the internet in general, lol. But if you do find yourself burning through my corpus, I hope you enjoy it. XD (And if I ever do get around to watching Dororo, I'll definitely check out your fics, too.)
DeleteI have a soft spot in my heart for the old MECC educational games, like Super Muncher and Oregon Trail - but I am very impressed by some modern games, particularly the environmental graphics. I have a friend who owns the Witcher games, and those environments are really beautiful - the sun rises and sets, the weather changes, there are even some nice viewpoints with trees and mountains and birds flying by. He also showed me Horizon Zero Dawn, and that's similar in graphics quality. Some of the games that I thought had incredible graphics as a young person (like Half Life) look kinda primitive by comparison. :/ And I've heard great things about the Dragon Age franchise.
I think reading your fics will be fun. :) And I mostly wrote the "Dororo" stuff for my own edification (especially "Enlightenment" and its related stuff) so I'm not holding my breath when it comes to new readers. The writing itself was cathartic. That fandom needs so many fix-its that I'm not equipped to provide them all. I played Oregon Trail into the ground when I was a wee one (6/7 years old IIRC) and only ever made it to Oregon with *all* of my family members alive, which was insanely difficult. I always picked the doctor; I always fed everyone well (I got amazingly good at hunting) and I spent all my extra money on wagon parts and spare oxen. Somehow I managed to make it more than a few times, but every time someone died I started over. I was far too soft-hearted in those days, I think. :) The Witcher 3 is one of the most beautiful games ever; I've played it, and the only thing I don't like is that darned auto-camera (playing it on PC mitigates that). Nioh is about on par with the Witcher series, which is really saying something--so much detail, and realistic weather! (It does make me think I should actually go outside on occasion, though. Then I remember quarantine...*sigh*). I love Dragon Age: Origins, but if you are as big a fantasy fan as me (and I think you are...?) expect to lose at least 50 hours of your life to it if you decide to play. Don't get me wrong, you'll enjoy every minute of it, but it is a *huge* time-suck. I could translate another Moribito novel with the time it took to beat the game once. XD
DeleteROFL, oh man, I would give all my wagon party ridiculous silly names and then intentionally pick, like, the farmer or something, and then laugh when they all inevitably got dysentery and bitten by rattlesnakes and so on. LOL I wasn't real good at playing games the way they were supposed to be played. (And in Age of Empires I'd always do the cheat that gave the Corvette that shot ballista bolts and go all over the map wiping out every last enemy building and warrior...) Ugh, computer games were great back in the day. *whiny rant about kids these days*
DeleteThanks for dropping a bunch of reviews over on AO3. I realised as soon as I read Void that I had made all kinds of mistakes (like... I did *not* expect any of that plot, whatsoever...) in my fic, and I sort of thought about going back and fixing them, but then I decided it was too much work, lol. Same with my decision to make the Hunter "ranks" merit-based, when they're definitely, 100% inherited. On the one hand, it now bothers me that I'm no longer canon-compliant. On the other hand, fixing it would be a major pain. BUT I WANT EVERYTHING TO MATCH. But, it would change the plot! So, quandary.
I never did finish Mass Effect because I was sinking so much time into it that it got me into trouble. XD Someday? LOL I did make it all the way to the end of Knights of the Old Republic, after playing that damn game like 24/7 for an age, only to find myself unable to beat the final boss because I'd saved at the wrong point. -___-; Tell ya what, games from that developer are dangerous. Whose name fails me for some reason. But, they make a quality product. XD
I never played Age of Empires, strangely, though I did play the Civ games and HMM3 (which is still my favorite strategy game--I'd summon a garrison of archangels, turn on infinite movement and decimate my enemies. Only when I was playing in cheat mode, though. That AI was brutal, and beating it without cheating was very satisfying.)
ReplyDeleteThere are tons of Mass Effect jokes in Dragon Age: Origins. (There are some in Knights of the Old Republic, too, but you've gotta look for 'em.) Bioware is definitely a scary developer. I've lost so many hours, but I'm not even mad. XD
If you're going to make one thing consistent between your "Blue Road" and the actual novel, I'd focus on Chagum's characterization, since that's most vital to the plot. I don't think you'll have to change your actual plot much, and I think your interpretation of the Hunters is internally consistent within your own series so I see no issues there.
BIOWARE. THANK YOU. Jeez, sometimes I feel like I'm getting early-onset dementia with how my memory fails me. I thought that wasn't supposed to start til the late 40s at least. -_____-;
DeleteAs for that fic, alas, I thought I'd gotten Chagum decently, there being so much to draw on (books, anime, drama). :/ I definitely 100% went with the anime characterization on most of the characters, since that's what I started with and since in some ways I prefer the kinder, gentler Moribito it represents. >_< With the Mikado I was trying to rectify his anime version with the evil book version, like to figure out a way for a generally decent dad to become so poisoned against his own kid that he'd want him dead. I expect Hyuugo will probably be totally different from book!Hugo though - my only source for him is the drama. And based on what you've described of Raul, I bet my Raul will be most unlike his canon version as anyone in the story. I'll have to put a disclaimer at the end that now that I've read more of the books I've discovered my version is way off, lol. Maybe that this is the anime-ified interpretation. XD Why, oh why, did I undertake such an ambitious project? *rolls eyes at self*
To be fair, Bioware was crushed beneath the feet of EA, so they technically don't exist anymore..and everyone forgets things, sometimes. :)
DeleteThe only complaint I have for your Chagum is that he doesn't play things close enough to the chest, especially with the Mikado. And when he's passive in the first chapter during the negotiations, it doesn't make sense why. It would make more sense to me for initial negotiations to take place without him, then have the military brass tacks negotiations (how many ships to send etc.) with him present and taking an active role.
Chagum also struggles with his role as Crown Prince a lot, which you do capture accurately, but it's a role he accepts, however grudgingly. He'd never say he didn't want to be Crown Prince to the Mikado (because the Mikado is more than willing to make that happen). It's subtle stuff, but I notice because I know that Chagum is headed toward a choice that he hates. He *does* eventually agree to take the burdens of his country on his shoulders, and I don't think he can convincingly do that if he begins the story antagonistic to the entire idea. At least, not without a lot of character work.
The Mikado tends to see Chagum as just as devious and capable as him, and the Mikado already tried to kill him once. Their relationship was always going to be strained, but with Chagum being essentially kind as well as intelligent, he manages to split factions at court and draw in the love of the common people without even trying. With Chagum out of the picture, he'd be free to mold little Tugum to his will, and gain sympathy from losing two sons so young *crocodile tears*. So the Mikado gains more than he loses from killing Chagum at the start of Traveler of the Blue Road.
Drama Hugo isn't too different from book Hugo, though his motivations are a lot better explored in the books. :)
I mean, I think this fic could be an interesting way to fix some injustices--Tosa, the sidelining of the Sangal characters that we already know, humanizing the Hunters (even Yun if you like)...you can change quite a few things without destroying the main plot. As long as the Talsh have captured Chagum and he escapes again at the end, the arc of the story will remain the same. And you wouldn't have taken it on unless you wanted to, yeah? :)
Y'know, you're absolutely right. I think what happened is I mostly went with the anime characterization on him, without taking Dream into account when I read it, and having not read Void, and also without taking into account how he grows up in the books and the drama. Like, he's so mature in Void and Dream, much more mature than a boy his age would be under normal circumstances, and I think I kind of just forgot about that. So he's a lot more uncertain and immature in my fic than in any canon - like if when the anime ended, instead of adapting to court life the way he does in the books, Chagum just spent the next three years being sad and daydreaming about going back to the hunting cave. It doesn't really do him justice. Ah, well. I'll have to amend my note at the start to make clear it was just the plot beats that I found on the internet, so that people don't start thinking it's a good approximation of the actual book. -_-;
DeleteOf course, you can bet that here Yun isn't the coldblooded killer you see in the books, since, y'know, Hunters. When I started writing this I had no idea Tarsan et al. even existed, but there's a lot still unwritten. After watching the drama, though, I definitely set upon the goal of making Tosa's death better, cuz that whole "go down with the ship" thing bugged the heck out of me, common trope though it be. That's the part I'm stuck on right now, though, so God only knows when and if I'll ever actually get to it. I try not to post fics til they're mostly done because I don't have a good track record when it comes to completing long stories... but then my reader "L" was like "post more!" and I caved, thinking this time - this time! Ha. I never write chronologically, so I've got a long scene with Raul and an even longer showdown between Hyuugo and I'm sure you can guess who, but I'll never get to post either if I don't finish the parts in between. *rant rant rant* Uff, I'm in such a whiny mood today. You ever carve out time to do some (non-school, non-work) writing and then find yourself drawing a total blank? SIIIIIIIIIIGHHH
I don't think it would be too hard to bring your Chagum in line with book canon, actually. Remember, I edit for a living. :) Shift some of his immature words to the Mikado to thoughts and add a little bit of edge here and there (because he knows exactly what the Mikado's doing) and I think you've got it.
DeleteI definitely think Tosa deserves better, and I'm curious how your Hunters will play into things. :) I'm smitten with the idea of one or the other (or both) of them being with Chagum in the Talsh capital, but in secret (maybe following Chagum without his knowledge?) I'd probably use a subplot like that to get the Hunters to figure out something about the Talsh army that they can put to use during the final showdown between New Yogo and Talsh. *shrug* Just an idea. I have a notebook of dangling details and plot bunnies for Moribito that I haven't expanded into fics, but I might someday. :)
Oh, and re: writer's block for creative stuff: been there, done that. I usually have the climax and ending of a story first and work backwards from those pieces. I spend a lot of time planning a fic before I publish anything, starting with the parts I know (in partial summary) that I want to include. After that I have to figure out the connective tissue--A to B to C to D stuff. It's not the fun part, to be sure, but there are also narrative structures you can play with: time skips, perspective changes, etc. Most of my outlines look like this:
DeleteInciting incident (leads to climax)
Support scene (1-3 sentences)
Support scene (1-3 sentences)
Support scene (1-3 sentences)
End of Act 1
(repeat above structure for how many acts there are)
Climax: 3-5 sentences
Ending(I usually get the last line first!)
It's basic; I know other writers that do a lot more. But I like this because after I get the "what has to happen here" hammered out, I can have fun choosing perspectives and adding character voices and detail without worrying that the plot will go too far off the rails. (And if it does, there's always the next fic to work those problems out. :) )
I write as relief for depression, so I usually write out of compulsion after the planning stages are done. Some characters and fandoms definitely speak to me more easily than others, and I've had to take breaks from my epics when they've gotten too overwhelming. So every writer's process is different, I think. I shared mine in the hope that it might give you some ideas. :)
What do you think of Chagum's personality in this book compared to the first one where he had that egg inside him and was essentially a male damsel in distress?
DeleteI think that Chagum changed a lot over the course of the first book, so it's not easy to do a 1:1 compare. What I liked about Chagum in the first book (and the anime, too) was that his child self was extremely mutable. He seemed reactive to situations based on instinct. The water spirit's egg was a good fit for him in that it possessed much the same quality--it was reacting to another being's direction, but it always knew exactly what to do to stay alive.
DeleteWhere Chagum differs from the egg and its passivity/reactiveness is his unwillingness to lay down and die. No one has ever survived being the Nyunga Ro Chaga before. Chagum wouldn't have been able to do it on his own, of course, but the act of resistance against the fatal force possessing him is where Chagum shows the most growth and the most strength. Tanda talks to him about how the strong desire to live manifests in Nayugu and Balsa's not about to let him die, but he has to listen to and trust them both in order to be so committed to his own survival against the odds. (One nitpick I have with the anime is Chagum's resignation heading into the Land of Feasting. Book Chagum was determined, but he was also very firmly against dying. Chagum's willingness to die to save everyone else is a much later character development in the books.)
Chagum still resists and reacts against a lot of the forces acting on him in Traveler of the Void; just like in the first book, he's being acted on by situations and events beyond his immediate control, especially with his family situation. However, in Traveler of the Void, he's able to get ahead of some of these events--and just like in the first book, his resistance to a seemingly impossible situation (Eshana's possession and seemingly inevitable death) produces an unexpected outcome. Traveler of the Void Chagum differs from Guardian of the Spirit Chagum in his ability to see himself as a player in an incredibly complicated game. He is no longer simply being acted on or reacting to what others do; he makes plans and acts on them. I think I said something much earlier in these comment threads about Chagum becoming this book's Balsa; it's not quite as simple as that, but he really is the rescuer in this plot. Well, him and Shuga--but I'm sure it's no surprise to you that Chagum changes people. He changed Balsa and Tanda, too. :)
The mutable one becomes the mutator, ehh? Or the Victim becomes the Rescuer? LOOK AT ME USING THEM FANCY LITERARY TERMS
DeleteIndeed! Guardian of the Spirit is a melodrama more than a drama, but Chagum does change from a Victim to a Rescuer, and gains his own agency in the process. *happy cheers*
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