Guardian of the God
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God's Appearance
Epilogue - Setting off on a Journey
Asra awoke just as the sun’s rays peeked over the horizon at dawn. Balsa was already awake. She sat near the window, tending to the wound in her left shoulder. She noticed Asra stirring and said, “Good morning.”
“Does that hurt?” Asra asked.
Balsa shook her head. “No. It’s mostly better.”
Asra looked away from her. She swallowed like she was mustering her courage, then looked at Balsa’s wound. She thought that the arrow had gone in quite deep, but now most of the wound was covered in shiny new skin.
“Whenever I see myself getting better so fast, I wonder why. I think it happens because I have a strong desire to live.”
Asra’s eyes met Balsa’s. With a hint of embarrassment, Balsa said, “Does seeing this bother you?”
Asra nodded.
After tending to her injuries, Balsa told Asra about the letter she’d gotten at Tachiya’s store. They had to go to Rota’s Ritual Hall in Jitan in order to save her brother. When Balsa mentioned the Ritual Hall, Asra stiffened in shock. Balsa didn’t know this, but Jitan was considered a sacred site a long time ago, back when Rota was still called Rotarbal. A clear cold spring flowed out of the Ritual Hall; in the center of the spring was an enormous tree. A wreath of interconnected mistletoe flowers hung from the top branches of the tree. The Ritual Hall was the place where the young Shiul woman had become Sada Talhamaya. It was also the place where Kiran had killed her.
Asra felt like the hand of fate was guiding her to that sacred place. At the same time, she felt an incredible sense of inevitability and hopelessness, as if she was being sucked into a raging storm. Sufar probably wants to kill me in the same place Sada Talhamaya was killed, Asra thought. She was scared, but she couldn’t tell Balsa that. If she did, she’d have to explain the significance of Jitan. She’d have to tell her that Asra would be able to invite Talhamaya to unite with her in that place.
Asra understood that they were being lured into a trap with Chikisa and Tanda as bait. Still, they had no choice but to go. Her fear overwhelmed her for a moment. Her mother had taught her to always be calm and composed to demonstrate her worthiness in being chosen by the god, but her mother’s words failed to suppress her fear now. She stood in the corner of the room and shook.
Balsa walked over to Asra and rested her hand on her shoulder. “I’ll tell you something my foster father told me. No matter how impossible a situation seems, don’t give up until the second your soul leaves your body. As long as you’re still alive, there’s still hope. There are times in life where you’ll do your very best and work as hard as you can with no reward, but the second you give up, it’s all over. Nothing will get better, and you won’t be able to save anyone.”
Balsa’s voice helped Asra calm down enough to stop shaking.
“I know your brother is precious and irreplaceable to you,” Balsa said. “I feel the same way about Tanda. We’ll find them soon. I promise.”
Balsa changed her bandages and got dressed. “We’re going back to Rota with a caravan,” she said.
Asra nodded in understanding. She felt worried without really knowing why.
Balsa noticed her expression and said, “I know you and I will be traveling again, but this won’t be like the last time. More people will be with us, and no one will chase us. We’ll have to go on horseback, which will be hard at first, but most people in the caravan aren’t used to riding horses, either, so I think the pace will be easy to handle. We’ll eat with them and work with them--we should be able to blend right in.
“But listen, Asra, this is important. If thieves or bandits attack us, I have to think about the safety of everyone in the caravan. I can’t just protect you and leave the others to fend for themselves. I need to work hard to save everyone’s lives. Do you understand?”
Asra nodded deeply.
“All right. Then let’s get ready.”
Asra helped Balsa pack and tidy up Martha’s guest house before their departure. Asra’s sense of worry and unease only increased as she cleaned. Balsa would be there to protect her on this journey, but it was possible that she’d be distracted because she had to protect everyone else, too. If Asra did get into trouble, she could always count on the god to save her, but...
I must be noble and clear-minded and strong, she thought. I was chosen by Talhamaya. She took a deep breath and stood up straight. The bright light of the morning sun streamed through the window, making the freshly cleaned and polished surfaces of the room shine.
Asra heard footsteps. Martha came inside and took in the state of the room. “So you’re leaving,” she muttered. Her eyes fell on a small package poking out from underneath the folded-up bedding. She crossed the room and picked it up. Balsa had wrapped up part of Naka’s advance payment to give to Martha as a way of expressing her gratitude.
Martha pressed the package into Balsa’s hands. Balsa opened her mouth to day something, but Martha shook her head firmly. “If I accepted this, I wouldn’t be your friend,” she said.
Martha looked at Asra. “Asra, I don’t know what awaits you on your journey, but I want you to know that you’re welcome to come back whenever you like. You have a good eye for clothes; I think you could be an excellent dressmaker one day. I’d even teach you so that you could work in my store. I’m sure I’d be able to find a good job for your brother, too.”
Asra’s eyes widened in surprise. She straightened up and looked Martha in the eyes.
“It’s hard work to be a shopkeeper or a merchant,” Martha said, “but if it’s something you want to do, I swear I’ll help you however I can. Please don’t forget me.”
Martha’s sincere eyes and kind smile made something around Asra’s neck heat up suddenly. Asra bit her trembling lip so that she wouldn’t cry, then took a seat on the floor. She lifted her hand and placed a finger each on her forehead, nose, and mouth. Then she dropped her hand and brought her forehead to the floor. This was a gesture of heartfelt thanks performed by the Tal people.
Balsa looked up at Martha, then bowed her head deeply. It was her way of thanking Martha for offering Asra a future.
The white light of the sun struck the side of Balsa’s face. She gripped her spear comfortably in one hand. Balsa met Asra’s eyes as she stood up from the floor and took Asra’s hand in hers. Together, they set out on a new journey.
This is the end of Guardian of the God - God's Appearance. The story continues in Guardian of the God - Return from the Hard Journey.
I realised how short this chapter was and as there's been a lull in things today I decided to finish the book. And I must say, I was very very struck by Balsa's/Jiguro's words of encouragement: "As long as you’re still alive, there’s still hope. There are times in life where you’ll do your very best and work as hard as you can with no reward, but the second you give up, it’s all over." SO TRUE BALSA SO TRUE. *sigh*
ReplyDelete...Though I'm not sure one can heal simply by willing it. XD
I wonder why Asra doesn't want to explain the situation, but I'm assuming it's partly because she's been brought up to be secretive, partly due to learned helplessness maybe - I feel like she trusts Balsa fairly well at this point, but I'm not sure she truly trusts anyone except maybe Chikisa. Poor Asra - that girl needs a hug. :( I also think she's a bit like Chagum insofar that she's made such an impression on those she meets after very little time - Martha cares about her after just like 3 days, enough to offer to adopt her. That's Chagum-level charisma right there. Also, Martha is a nice lady. It's weird that this one ends on such a hopeful note when they're definitely going into a trap.
Jiguro is a man on fire. I'm really looking forward to "The Wanderer." :) Without him, Balsa would not have her strong desire to survive despite all the unfairness and difficulty inherent in survival. No one said life was easy.
ReplyDeleteThey say belief is half the cure. My grandfather survived Stage 3 stomach cancer in the 80s by sheer willpower; the treatment had a 20% success rate at the time. He's still around. Believing you'll be fine isn't a cure in and of itself, but it definitely helps.
Asra knows how Balsa feels about the god; I doubt she wants another lecture. There's also a chapter that details her brainwashing re: Talhamaya ("Like the Surface of a Lake in Winter") that explains why she'd rather throw in her lot with Talhamaya than Balsa, still--even after everything they've been through.
Asra can be very sweet and I do think her heart is in the right place; I understand completely why Balsa and Martha want to help her. I don't know if that's Chagum-like energy or just the innocence of little girl; Asra comes off as younger than she is while Chagum always comes off as older.
Is this the same grandpa Grandad Rakusuran is based on, if I may ask?
DeleteIndeed he is. :)
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