Hyakkimaru's Birth
Book 1 of the Dororo Novel Series
Toriumi Jinzō
Part 3 - A Nightmarish Fate
"I've never forgotten anything that Yōda taught me," Jukai said. "Not even for a moment."
As Jukai ended his tale, Oniwakamaru's eyes searched his face.
"Your mother died less than a year after giving birth to you," Jukai said. "Her lungs were always poor, and a disease in them finally killed her." Bifuyō truly had died of an illness in her lungs, so this was only half a lie.
Oniwakamaru asked no more questions. Jukai felt relieved at unburdening himself so much, though he hadn't told the whole truth. Sakuzō brought Jukai tea to ease his throat. He'd talked for a very long time.
Jukai suddenly heard the hoot of an owl. It was almost morning. "Seems I've talked all night," he said with a slight smile. "We should all get some rest."
"Yes, taifu," Sakuzō said. He gathered up Oniwakamaru and left the room. It seemed that it would still take some time to convince Sakuzō that the surgery to give Oniwakamaru limbs was necessary.
Jukai returned to his room to rest, reliving old and painful memories as he walked. He slept through the rest of the night and morning, dreaming of the Hall of Hell. He stood in front of the demon statues as they mocked him, laughing and jeering. Jukai tried to say something or move, but he couldn't speak or budge so much as an inch from where he stood.
The laughter of the demons was like the sound of a cruel victory. The sound echoed off the walls of the cavernous hall.
A strange voice emanated from the rafters. "Assume the shape of your birth, if you choose. It doesn't matter. If you oppose us, we will take your life."
Jukai recovered the will and the strength to speak. "Oniwakamaru!" he called out. "Where are you?"
The demons laughed harder.
Jukai awoke in his own bed, drenched in sweat. He rushed to Oniwakamaru's room and found him staring at the ceiling. He'd had the same dream as Jukai again. It was September 30. Jukai wrote down the details of the dream in his journal.
I dreamed of the Hall of Hell again. Oniwakamaru had the same dream at the same time. Currently, the decision on whether or not to do the surgery is deadlocked. Sakuzō is still opposed.
The nightmare seemed to be a reaction to the possibility of the surgery. Maybe there wouldn't be any more nightmares if Jukai simply gave up on performing it.
Oniwakamaru didn't come to breakfast the next morning. Jukai asked Sakuzō if he was feeling sick.
"No," Sakuzō said. "He told me he didn't want to eat."
Jukai frowned, but he didn't press Sakuzō with more questions. He decided to leave Oniwakamaru alone for the moment and wait for him to come out.
But no matter how long he and Sakuzō waited, Oniwakamaru wouldn't leave his room. Sakuzō brought him food on a tray and Jukai visited him in the afternoon, but he wouldn't speak to either of them. He displayed clear signs of avoidance, but he wouldn't explain the source of his agitation.
Something had changed since Oniwakamaru had refused to have the surgery.
A cold and lonely atmosphere permeated the mountain estate. Jukai was at a loss for what to do. After a few tense and uncomfortable weeks, Sakuzō broke down and told Jukai why Oniwakamaru was behaving so strangely.
"Forgive me, taifu," Sakuzō said as he dropped to his knees. "I told him."
"Told him?"
Sakuzō had revealed the secret of Oniwakamaru's birth, just after his second nightmare of the Hall of Hell. "Jukai isn't my father," was the first thing he'd said. "I knew it. I figured it out before. There's nothing here that belonged to my mother. She has no grave, so she must be alive."
Jukai was dumbstruck—and yet, it shouldn't come as a surprise. Sakuzō was an honest man, and Oniwakamaru could see through his lies as easily as Jukai could. For the same reason, Oniwakamaru could be sure that Sakuzō was telling the truth when he'd told him about being found floating in a washbasin in the Takano River near Iwakura Shrine. It wasn't entirely clear why Sakuzō had chosen to tell Oniwakamaru the truth after keeping the secret for so long, but the words of the demons had caused Oniwakamaru to have doubts. Sakuzō had wanted to ease those doubts by explaining that he was cared for, loved, and chosen—picked up after being cast away.
Oniwakamaru knew all of Jukai's secrets now. He couldn't let this tense living situation continue. Jukai stood up straight, mentally prepared himself for a few moments, then went to Oniwakamaru's room.
"It's about time that we talked," Jukai said. He wasn't sure what to say after that.
Oniwakamaru stared at the ceiling in stony silence. There was a chilling sort of aura emanating from him that forbade speech.
Jukai took a deep breath, then removed the tiny kimono that Oniwakamaru had been found in from the front of his own kimono. "You were dressed in this when I found you," he said.
"I don't want to look at that," Oniwakamaru said.
"I couldn't tell you," Jukai said. "Please forgive me."
"Uncle Sakuzō," Oniwakamaru called out sharply. "Pick me up." When Sakuzō had told him the secret of his birth, he had actually toppled over. He had no desire to repeat that experience.
Sakuzō entered the room and supported Oniwakamaru with his arms.
Slowly, deliberately, Jukai told Oniwakamaru everything he remembered about the day he'd been found. He told him about the basin in the river, the strange lightning, and the protection he'd received from Iwakura Shrine. He also told Oniwakamaru everything he knew about the Unryū Temple Complex and the Hall of Hell.
"I don't know who your birth parents are," Jukai said. "The basin was coming downstream from the capital, but that doesn't necessarily mean that your parents are from there."
Unshed tears shone in Oniwakamaru's artificial eyes. "My parents...threw me away?"
Jukai was at a loss for words again. He looked down at his hands. "Even monkeys don't throw away their young," he said quietly. "Don't think of them as your parents. They aren't."
Oniwakamaru was still crying. Jukai was about to say something else, but Oniwakamaru spoke first.
"You've always been my father."
"And I always will be," Jukai said. His face felt too warm; he was almost crying himself. He helped Sakuzō dry Oniwakamaru's tears with his sleeve.
"Oniwakamaru," Sakuzō said in a soothing tone. He gave him a tight hug.
"Father," Oniwakamaru said, "I have a request. Please do that surgery to give me arms and legs."
"What?" Jukai asked.
Oniwakamaru faced Jukai calmly. "I want to run on my own legs. I want to use my own hands. I want to track down the Hall of Hell demons and take back what they stole from me."
"Your enemies are my enemies," Jukai said, "but there's no harm in staying as you are. It would be less dangerous for you, too."
Oniwakamaru shook his head. "No. You went all the way to China to learn how to make prosthetic limbs that move like real ones from Yōda. That's exactly what I need. And you said that the god of Iwakura Shrine protected us. There has to be a reason for that. I think it was because the god felt sorry for me—lacking arms and legs and all—so it led me to you. If I have limbs and can master psychokinesis, I'll be able to fight the demons that made me this way."
"Oniwakamaru..." The backs of Jukai's eyes hurt; his pulse throbbed in his ears. He had sworn an oath to Yōda, and before the god of Iwakura Shrine, that he would do his utmost to heal Oniwakamaru. Strangely, Yōda's words when Jukai had first found Oniwakamaru closely resembled what Oniwakamaru was asking for now. He wanted to be strong enough to fight monsters and demons.
Hisamaro's treatment by the shōgun and the more corrupt physicians of the Imperial Court wasn't something that Jukai had forgotten. He doubted that he ever would. Jukai had promised his father, Nadaemon, Gōshō and Yōda that he would help all the unfortunate people who had lost limbs, in the hopes of making some some difference in easing the terrible burden of human suffering.
Jukai shouldn't have needed Oniwakamaru to tell him to perform the surgery. He should have been completely honest with Oniwakamaru from the start. He had good reasons for not telling him how he'd been found: he hadn't wanted him to hate his birth parents, and he hadn't wanted Oniwakamaru to feel unwanted or unloved.
But certain things were impossible to predict or control. In trying so desperately to spare Oniwakamaru hurt feelings, he had done more damage than he'd anticipated.
"I promise that I'll do everything I can to help you," Jukai said.
"I know," Oniwakamaru said. "I got the chance to live when I should have died. I won't waste it." His smile was as bright as a sunrise.
On a morning in the middle of autumn, Jukai went down to the Takano River near Hyōtankuzure with Sakuzō and Oniwakamaru. They rode horses to get there. The crisp, cold air shriveled the red-gold leaves of the cedar trees in the mountain forest. Wind blew off the surface of the river and ruffled Oniwakamaru's hair. Everything was still and silent.
Sunlight reflected blindingly off the large standing stones that marked Iwakura Shrine. There was no sign that Oniwakamaru and Jukai had ever been attacked here.
Jukai stood near the riverbank, then bowed his head and prayed fervently for the success of the surgery. Sakuzō carried Oniwakamaru toward the shrine, then paused to pray himself. Jukai couldn't guarantee that the surgery would be successful, so he appealed to the mercy of the gods.
It's remarkable that Oniwakamaru has made it this far. The days since Jukai had pulled Oniwakamaru from the river seemed long, yet short at the same time. Oniwakamaru had drifted north from the capital, protected by the god of Iwakura Shrine. Everything that had happened after was all because of Oniwakamaru's strong will to live.
It was impossible to tell Oniwakamaru's future. It seemed that the demons that had appeared in his nightmares were responsible for attacking him and Jukai with evil lightning. Oniwakamaru and Jukai's lives were connected at that point. Jukai had adopted and treated him and watched him grow up. Now, a new phase of his life was beginning. Jukai intended to support him through it all.
On the way home, Jukai and Sakuzō stopped near Kurama Temple to pray. "Please keep him safe," Jukai whispered. They didn't enter the temple, and Oniwakamaru didn't pray there. The mountain of Kurama had raised him and given him strength; he had no need for the blessing of the Buddha triad that marked the entrance of the temple.
Even if that was true, Jukai was willing to take all the help they could get.
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