Where the Wind Takes Us
Part 2 - Long Ago
Chapter 10 - The Price of a Life
The evening stillness sent a chill through Balsa's bones. She crept down, shielded on three sides by trees, and took aim at the underbrush, practicing her archery. She shot at the bushes, then prepared another shot immediately, turned a few inches, and fired.
She imagined three arrows pelting toward her in the gloom. If there were three archers and she missed her first shot, she'd have to avoid their fire. She flattened her back against the tree and made herself small.
She imagined a fourth arrow embedding itself in the tree just above her head.
Four archers. Damn. She knew Jiguro could fend off three arrows at once with his spear, but what if they did have four? What if the soldiers and Maron had gone to get reinforcements after all? They must have noticed how good Jiguro was with the spear. Balsa moved away from the tree where she'd shot her first arrow, moving in silence.
One, she counted, and fired.
Balsa bit her lip and aimed at another tree.
Two.
To the left of the tree, Balsa noticed another push perfect for taking cover under. She shot at it next, barely two seconds after her second shot.
Three.
Balsa worried that she wouldn't be able to shoot one down before the others converged on her. If she missed, Jiguro would have at least three archers to contend with.
Balsa heard footsteps behind her coming from a patch of tall grass. "Balsa," Kii whispered.
Balsa didn't turn. She gritted her teeth and tracked her imaginary targets with her eyes: one, two, three. She drew her bow and nocked another arrow, but didn't let it fly yet. She was breathing deeply, almost panting, and there were tears in her eyes.
"Balsa!" Kii grabbed her shoulder.
Balsa jerked backwards and dropped her bow. Her thumb got caught as it fell and was cut on the string. Her blood dripped onto the ground. Balsa brought her bleeding thumb to her mouth and sucked the blood away, still ignoring Kii. The pain of the cut dulled as it bled. Balsa frowned at the taste of iron in her mouth.
"Uh..." Kii was still standing behind Balsa. "I've never seen you make a face like that before. Mr. Jiguro promised he'd keep the Conductor safe no matter what, but you're still worried. What's wrong?"
Balsa turned to face Kii. "Jiguro didn't lie," she said. "I'm sure he'll protect your Conductor. That's not what I'm worried about."
"Then what is it?"
"I don't know if I can do it," Balsa said. "I'm not confident that I can deal with the archers and protect Jiguro. Not on my own." She felt tears stinging the backs of her eyes and bit them back. "If there are four archers--or if Jiguro's just unlucky, or I miss--he'll have to deflect an arrow with his body. He can only move the spear so fast, and I..."
She faced away from Kii, looking at a tree. Her vision swam with tears.
Balsa was a veteran of many battles. She shouldn't doubt herself; she knew that. When the fire of battle was on her, she was more than equal to any other guard she'd ever met, aside from Jiguro. She understood that what sustained her during long fights was her rage, and that this time, she couldn't tap into it. She wasn't angry at the Sadan Taram's enemies for trying to kill Sari. She was terrified that Jiguro might die--and because of that, her hard-earned confidence had deserted her.
I'm not worried about protecting my own life this time.
This time, she would be defending Jiguro. She'd never had to do that before. She wasn't even sure that she knew how. The image of Jiguro falling, pierced by three arrows, wouldn't leave her mind.
"Uh," Kii said tentatively. "I'm sorry I startled you. I didn't mean it." Kii was crying openly.
Balsa frowned at her. "It's fine. You don't need to apologize."
"I do," Kii said. "You have no reason to believe me, but we really will pay you both, I promise! I never wanted you to have to risk your lives for us. And I know you're mad at our Conductor, but she's not doing all this--visiting the graves and putting spirits to rest--because she wants to. She doesn't have a choice." Tears trickled down her cheeks. "People pay us to do funerals and stuff, but all that money goes back to the village to help the others, so I don't have anything to give you, and, and..."
Balsa blinked. She wasn't mad at Sari. And she certainly wasn't mad at Kii. Even if she died because of Sari, Balsa wouldn't hate her. Risking her own life was part of the job.
"Kii, listen," Balsa said. "You have nothing to apologize for. Really. Jiguro and I were prepared to lay down our lives for you all when you hired us. You needed our help, remember? You were worried about being attacked again."
Kii nodded. "But still... I'm sorry." She sniffed. "Why do you do this work, Balsa? It's so dangerous!"
Balsa looked away.
"Couldn't you do something else?” Kii asked. “There are a lot of different ways to make money."
Balsa looked up at Kii again. "If it was just a matter of money, you'd be right. But I do this work for my own survival. If I stopped now and did something else, my life would have no meaning." She shook her head. "I know I kill people for a living, but if I didn't, they would kill me. It's an honest enough profession, and without it, I'd be dead by now."
Balsa picked up her bow. Her thumb was scabbing over. "I know you and Sari feel sorry for me or something, but you shouldn't. Every time I see one of you look at me with pity—'Oh, poor Balsa, she's only sixteen'—I want to scream." She set her jaw. "You don't know anything about me. Don't judge me by your own standards."
Balsa heard more footsteps coming from the grassy area behind her. It was Sari, moving carefully so that she wouldn't step on sticks or get a face full of tall grass. Sari sped to Kii's side and knelt down. "Kii, are you all right? Have you been crying?"
"It's nothing." Kii wiped her face.
Sari looked at Kii with an expression of concern, but when she realized that Kii wasn't about to explain her mood, she shifted her attention to Balsa. "I was looking for Jiguro," she said. "He's not in the camp. I thought he might be practicing the bow with you, but it seems like he's not here, either. Do you know where he is?"
"No idea," Balsa said. "I haven't seen him since I left the weapons shop."
Kii frowned. "Conductor, didn't Jiguro tell you not to leave the inn? It's not safe."
Sari shrugged. "Yes, but-- well, I was actually looking for both of you. I wanted to talk to Balsa and Jiguro together, but it seems like no one knows where he is."
Sari approached Balsa and took her free hand, the one that wasn't holding the bow. "What do you say to ending your guard contract now?" she asked.
Balsa's eyes widened with surprise.
"Before, we thought that our attackers were after all of us, but now we know that they're only after me. I don't want you and Jiguro risking your lives just to save me."
Balsa opened her mouth to say something, but Sari put up a hand, requesting silence. "I couldn't bear to have someone else die because of my decision. I have to perform the rites in the Valley of the Forest King, whatever the danger to myself, but I'm not required to endanger other people. I won't do it. Please try to understand."
Sari was staring straight at Balsa. Balsa extricated her hand from Sari's with a little frown.
"If you're trying to get us to back off," Balsa said, "you'll have to put in more effort than that." She got up and started retrieving the arrows she'd shot during practice. "You have to understand that dad would never accept that. We have to follow you all the way to your destination in order to get paid, anyway. We're not just going to tag along and not protect you. How stupid do you think we are?"
Sari glanced at Balsa, seeming uncomfortable. Yellow sunlight broke through the leaves in a speckled pattern, covering Sari's face and clothes. There was fear in her eyes. She brought her hands together and held them like she was praying.
I guess she loves Jiguro after all, Balsa thought. The thought hurt her. She didn't want to look at Sari when she was acting this way. She wasn't sure why.
Balsa gathered the rest of her arrows in her quiver and resumed archery practice. An arrow thudded into one of her pre-selected targets at the base of a tree. Balsa felt the shaft scrape across her thumb, irritating, but she ignored it.
In the distance, the sun glinted off a cliff face of white stone. Balsa tracked it with her eyes, noting rocky outcroppings that were close to the path the Sadan Taram would take up the hill. She used the tip of an arrow to trace a proposed path for herself.
Balsa smiled. She had an idea.
***
"Balsa." Sari sounded hesitant.
Balsa picked up her scattered arrows in haste and placed them back in her quiver. "Let's go back to the inn," she said.
Sari followed Balsa, wandering like a ghost. Several times, she opened her mouth to say something, but then she seemed to think better of it. They didn't say a single word to one another on the way back.
But Sari hadn't given up on talking to Balsa and Jiguro together. By the time Jiguro returned, it was late evening, and most of the other Sadan Taram were already asleep.
"We won't be going to Kemiru Hill or the Valley of the Forest King this year," Sari said. "I've thought about it, and I made up my mind. I think it's better for us to turn toward home now." She looked at her feet. "It's my duty to put the spirits of the battlefield to rest, but no one rewards me or the other Sadan Taram for this work. No one punishes us, either."
Jiguro thought for a moment. "Why bother doing it, then, if there are no consequences?"
Sari smiled sadly. "Well, our people believe that the spirits of the dead—those we soothe and those of our people—become yasu radol, guardian spirits. Aside from that, I've never heard a reason." She brushed a strand of hair off her forehead. "I suppose I'll have to write a letter of apology to the Aru clan lord. He might be angry; we've never missed a year before, and with the grave open and the hero's body exposed because the earthquake, he might be even more upset. The wind that blows the spirits to their rest is turbulent, but we cannot reach the source of it. It's not safe for us to travel up Kemiru Hill, or to the Valley of the Forest King. He never responded to our request for aid. If I explain the circumstances, he'll understand."
Balsa frowned. Sari noticed her expression and asked, "Is something wrong?"
"What is this ‘wind that blows the spirits to their rest?' You've never mentioned it before."
Sari bit her lip. "As to that-- it's difficult to explain. The wind isn't ordinary wind."
"So it's Nayugu's wind?" Balsa asked bluntly.
Sari nodded. "We call it Noyook, but it is called Naguyu in New Yogo. Do you know much about it?"
"My childhood friend is a magic weaver in New Yogo," Balsa said. "He can see Nayugu."
Sari smiled. "I see. Perhaps I can explain after all. I can feel Noyook's wind. That's why I was chosen as the leader of the Sadan Taram." She rubbed at her chest absently; Balsa remembered where she stored the water harp. "We lend the power of Noyook's wind, using it to guide us to the spirits that need our help. We don't decide where the wind goes; we simply follow it."
Balsa blinked. She wasn't sure how that was supposed to work. It was probably a magic weaver thing. She never understood that stuff.
Sari smiled at Balsa's puzzled expression. "Even knowing about Noyook, it's not always easy to understand. The wind can choose, and it chooses for us. Try to think of the wind like water flowing in a river. The water flows in a certain direction, and you can see it if you look at the current. It is these currents that we follow from place to place. Since time immemorial, the leader of the Sadan Taram has used their senses to find a road from spirit to spirit. Our visitation schedule each year is determined by Noyook's wind.
"The timing is particular," Sari said. "That's one problem I haven't been able to find a way around. When the wind blows and we follow it, we only have a limited time to reach the next spirit or battleground. Kemiru Hill is always difficult to visit. We have less than a day to perform the ritual on the hill now. If we don't, the wind will move on, guiding us to the Valley of the Forest King. I can already feel the wind trying to change directions."
Jiguro had been silent up until now. He tilted his chin, then said, "I'm only a guard, but I'd like to make an observation."
"What is it?" Sari asked.
"I think that if you turn around now and go home, you'll still be killed."
Sari blinked. "Why?"
"Your enemies are stalking you, not spirits. Call it a guard's intuition. If I had to guess, I'd say that they were afraid of something. Maybe of whatever happens in the Valley of the Forest King during your ritual. From my perspective—if I wanted to kill you, I could do it anywhere. But these men who are after you are following your route. Not because of your people or traditions, but because of you. I think they're scared to kill you because of blame. They've gone to a lot of trouble to keep their activities secret. If they ambush you in isolated places, like they have been, there's less risk of them being caught." He shook his head. "They have a secret, or you do. Maybe both. A secret worth killing over."
Balsa gulped. What kind of secret? she thought.
"But we don't know the reason you're being hunted," Jiguro said. "We only know that you are. And the Aru clan lord should have given us a reply by now. We sent an express messenger, and he's had plenty of time to send a response. I worry that there's a reason for that, too."
Jiguro rubbed his chin. "You've been traveling to the Valley of the Forest King to ease Lagaro's spirit for years, and you've never been attacked before. That means the situation has changed, somewhere. Your enemies might have been sent out with new orders this year."
"Is this because of the maharan wood?" Balsa asked. She still wondered why Kaina had droned on and on about it.
Jiguro nodded. "That's one possibility. But it's not the only thing that changed this year."
"The earthquake," Sari said.
Jiguro nodded again. "Lagaro's grave is broken; his body lies exposed. The Aru clan lord has every reason to want to lay his esteemed ancestor to rest, but he's made no move to do so. That makes me think that the Aru clan is behind this, if not the lord himself."
Sari gasped. It was clear that she didn't want to believe what Jiguro was saying.
"And didn't the lord marry into a Rotan clan not too long ago?" Balsa asked. "You said it yourself before, Sari. Politics are complicated."
Sari nodded. "You're right; I did say that. But I have to think that you're wrong. I cannot think that Lord Shisal would wish me harm. However, his wife—Lady Oria of the Magua clan—often speaks ill of the Sadan Taram. She spreads rumors that we are the cause of sicknesses and deaths. I never thought she intended to harm us, either, but the timing of the earthquake coincided with her marriage, and there were just as many nasty rumors about her floating around before she decided to blame us for everything. She probably just wants the rumors to die down. The Magua clan has an interest in suppressing the traditions of the Tahsa people as well, though I can't be certain of her stance on that."
Jiguro nodded gravely. The wind blew through the window of the room. "You and I are going to have a long talk about all this later. We asked about your enemies before, and none of the Sadan Taram mentioned Lady Oria. Including you." He sighed. "I questioned our messenger, and he swore that he delivered the letter we sent directly into to Lady Oria's hands. I don't know her character, so I can't make snap judgments, but it all looks suspicious, at any rate."
Jiguro thought for a moment, then said, "Here's what we're going to do. There are only a few days left before the end of your journey and our promised payment. Balsa and I will continue to guard you until then. We'll double back a little first, to make them think you've given up on making your visitation to Kemiru Hill this year. That might buy us some time. But we can't give up for real. I can think of at least two reasons why your journey must continue."
"What are they?" Sari asked.
"Balsa, do you know?"
Balsa nodded. "One reason, anyhow. If you quit now, we'll never know why these people are coming after you in the first place. They might just attack again next year, or after you're home, and then all our guard work will be for nothing."
Sari rubbed her arms fearfully. "I still don't understand what grudge Lady Oria could possibly have against me."
"I don't think it's a personal grudge," Balsa said. "I think she or someone else has an interest in weakening the ties between the Aru clan lord and the Sadan Taram. That's the second reason you want to keep going, isn't it, dad?"
Jiguro didn't answer. He was looking at Sari.
Tentatively, Sari nodded. "I-- well, yes. If we give up now, we can't really call ourselves Sadan Taram anymore. We became what we are now in the Valley of the Forest King, very long ago. While the Aru clan doesn't pay us directly for performing the ritual there each year, we live on an island that the Aru clan lord gave us on sufferance. If we don't keep to our schedule and our role, we might lose our home." She wrung her hands.
Jiguro clasped Sari on the shoulder. "We have one reason to retreat, and two reasons to go on. I say we keep going. Balsa?"
Balsa nodded. Sari didn't say anything.
"Don't worry about us," Jiguro said. He squeezed Sari's shoulder. "We're guards. Our occupation is a matter of life and death . We couldn't do this work if death or battle frightened us."
Sari looked up at Jiguro. The expression on her face was difficult to interpret. Slowly, she removed Jiguro's hand from her shoulder and stood up straight. She folded her hands over her heart and said, "It seems I am still under your protection. Three meals and forty-five copper coins a day." She bowed her head.
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