Guardian of Heaven and Earth - Rota - Epilogue - Digging through Snow

 Guardian of Heaven and Earth

-

Rota

(Book 8 of the Guardian of the Spirit Series)

Author: Uehashi Nahoko

Translator: Ainikki the Archivist

 

Epilogue - Digging Through Snow

  

  Chagum shivered violently from cold and fear and pain. Balsa hugged him tight to her chest and didn’t let go. His teeth chattered as he said, “Balsa? Is it really you? Or is this just a dream?”

    Balsa smiled. “Maybe you’re right, and it is a dream. I can’t believe how big you’ve gotten.” She let him go slowly and stared at him as if she wasn’t fully convinced that he was real. It was growing dark, so she couldn’t see him terribly well, but there was an alarmingly bloody cut on the right side of his face.

    “He cut you good, didn’t he?” Balsa muttered. She touched the edges of the wound very lightly. It extended from the middle of his forehead to the corner of his right eye. It was too dark for her to treat it and stitch it closed now, but it seemed that the cold of the winter was good for one thing: the wound, though quite deep, had already stopped bleeding. It would need to be stitched eventually, but right now, her most immediate concern was to make sure it didn’t gush open again.

“Let’s some pressure on that,” she said. “This will probably hurt.” She pinched at the edges of his wound and pressed down. Then she ripped off a piece of her shuma face covering and used it as a bandage. She wrapped the piece of cloth all the way around his head and tied it tightly off. She lifted up Chagum’s own face covering and then resettled it so that the edges were tucked inside his coat for more warmth.

“How bad does it hurt?” she asked.

“Not bad,” he said. His teeth still chattered. “It feels numb. The edges hurt a little, but it’s fine.” He rubbed his arms. “Did you see any sign of Rotan soldiers on your way here?”

Balsa nodded slowly. “Both of them were cut down.”

Chagum froze. “So...they’re both dead, then?” His lips trembled; he looked like he was trying not to cry. “It’s my fault. They protected me. They were good men, they--they were married and had kids...”

Chagum started walking in fits and starts away from Balsa. Balsa grabbed his shoulder.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“We have to bury them,” he said.

“The snow has covered them already,” she said, pulling Chagum in closer. “We also don’t have shovels, or any other tools, or time.”

“But...”

Seeing Chagum’s hesitancy, Balsa said, “Listen.” Her tone was sharp, but not angry. “You’ve never lived through a Rotan winter. This blizzard is going to get much worse before it lets up. There are wolves in this forest, a lot of them. We can’t let the horses stay out here any more than we can stay out here ourselves.

“Those soldiers died to save you. Don’t waste their deaths. Think only about your own survival, now.”

Chagum remained still and silent, shivering.

“The snow has buried them,” Balsa said. “Let that be their funeral, for now. We’ll say a prayer for them.”

Chagum hesitated for a long moment, then nodded. Balsa led him closer to the place where she’d seen the fallen soldiers. “Bow your head.” Chagum did. There was a long, silent moment that stretched out. The snow seemed to muffle all sound; even the horse’s hooves were silent as they shuffled across the ground.

Chagum was a bit surprised that the skittish horse had remained so close. Then he realized that the poor animal’s reins had gotten caught in the underbrush. Balsa led Chagum over to the horse and helped him mount up. Then she located a pine torch in the horse’s saddlebags.

Her fingers were numb with cold. She blew on them to get some feeling back into them, then lit the torch. The flame struggled to stay lit as the heavy, wet snow fell upon it; Balsa didn’t think the torch would last them very long.

Balsa took Chagum’s horse by the bridle and started looking for one of the huts that the herders and ranchers built along the road to help travelers in winter. She found one in about half an hour, sheltered in a grove of snowy trees. By the time she found it, both Balsa and Chagum were numb and shaking with cold.

When Balsa helped Chagum dismount, she realized that he was unconscious. Balsa’s own horse was a smart animal and had followed them through the snow.

Chagum was so heavy. She carried him into the hut at a snail’s pace with snow swirling around her shoulders. She shut the door, then lay Chagum out on the floor. She used the last gasp of her pine torch to light a fire in the room’s low hearth, which was already packed with dry firewood.

Balsa returned to Chagum and removed his thick leather boots. The skin revealed was pale and cold to the touch. She needed to warm him up; the effects of frostbite could be dangerous if not treated quickly. He also hadn’t stirred since she’d put him down.

“Chagum!” she called out, shaking his shoulders. “Wake up. You have to stay awake.”

Chagum groaned and opened his eyes the barest sliver. His wounds hurt.

“Listen closely to me, Chagum,” Balsa said. “Can you hear me? Do you understand?”

Chagum nodded weakly.

“Can you feel your fingers and toes? Try to move them.”

His fingers and toes did move some. Balsa started rubbing his limbs to help him warm up faster. He frowned and flinched away from her at first, then relaxed a little.

“How do your hands and feet feel?” Balsa asked.

“Better,” he said.

Balsa sighed in relief and settled Chagum’s legs more comfortably on the floor. Chagum’s eyes were still closed. Balsa continued to rub his feet until she saw a faint pink flush return to his skin. Chagum started gasping in pain.

“Hold on a little longer,” Balsa said. “If we don’t get this fixed right now, you might never walk right again.”

She switched to his hands after she finished rubbing his feet. When she was satisfied that she’d done all she could for the moment, she inspected the wound in her own side. It was shallow and no longer bleeding.

Balsa wiped down the wound with a clean cloth, then removed her belt and wrapped it around the injury. She stood up, testing her movements. She had a mountain of things to do.

Balsa removed her coat, then Chagum’s; she took them outside to shake the snow off them, then hung them up to dry. She rubbed her own limbs to get more feeling back into them; she was still cold. She felt pins and needles, painful, as the blood rushed back into her fingers and toes.

When she could move her fingers nimbly again, Balsa knelt down next to Chagum and lifted up the shuma face covering. Chagum was sleeping and didn’t wake, even when she lifted the face covering completely off.

His injury appeared far worse in the light of the fire than it had in the dim gloom outside the hut. She saw that the blade that had cut his forehead had pierced his skin all the way down to his right cheek. However, she’d made the right call in trying to stop the bleeding first: the wound had scabbed over and didn’t appear infected or inflamed.

Balsa boiled snow for hot water and began to wash Chagum’s face in preparation for putting on a fresh bandage. Chagum flinched and turned away from her, but Balsa held him down, gently but firmly. She wrapped the wound with a clean strip of cloth. It was difficult to wrap the bandage and hold Chagum still at the same time, but she managed.

“Are you hurt?” Chagum asked hoarsely.

“I’m fine,” she said. “You will be, too. I wish Tanda were here; he’d be able to treat these wounds a lot better than I can.”

Chagum smiled a little. “How is Tanda? Do you know?”

“The same as he always is. You know him; he never changes. He’s older, but we all are.”

Chagum fell asleep with his slight smile still on his lips. Balsa supported his head in her lap and listened to his quiet breathing. “Well, maybe I shouldn’t say that...you’ve changed a lot. You’re a young man now,” she whispered.

His face was deeply suntanned, just as it had been the last time she’d seen him as a boy. His features had solidified and spread a little, but she easily saw the boy she’d known in his face. She wanted to sit with him until he woke up, but she still had things to do. She stood up carefully so she wouldn’t wake him.

Balsa brought the horses into a small sheltered livestock pen with a roof that was directly next to the hut where she and Chagum had taken refuge. She had to take care of their needs before she could go to sleep herself.

     Snow kept falling outside.

    Balsa dozed fitfully while sitting up, watching over Chagum and adding fresh firewood whenever the fire burned down low. When roughly half the night had passed, Chagum shifted uncomfortably in his sleep. Balsa felt his forehead and discovered that he had a high fever.

    Balsa placed a cold, wet cloth that she soaked in snow on his forehead, then started boiling water to clean his wound again. Chagum coughed violently and cried out, "Run away! Get away from here, now!"

    Balsa held on to Chagum and pushed him down. "Chagum? Chagum! It's all right. You're safe here. You're having a dream. It's just a nightmare."

    Chagum opened his eyes and looked up at Balsa. "People...the capital...all destroyed. Everyone has to run. Run now." He closed his eyes again. His body went completely limp in Balsa's arms. Balsa wiped the sweat from his forehead and checked his fever. He was far from home; he must be having nightmares that Kosenkyo was in danger.

    Chagum remained asleep but restless until dawn, when he relaxed into a deeper sleep. Balsa finally permitted herself to stretch out and fall asleep. The snow was still falling when she awoke later that morning. She looked outside and found the sky grim and colorless.

    Sometime in the afternoon, Chagum's fever rose a little. He awoke with a groan and a severe frown; the wound on his face looked inflamed and painful, though he didn't complain. He hugged himself a little and sat up.  Balsa brought food for them both from Chagum's pack. She boiled some of the dried meat and potatoes in a pot to make a simple stew. Chagum managed to eat about half a bowl before refusing to be fed any more.

    At nightfall, Chagum's fever broke. He was able to get up and move on his own without too much pain or dizziness. Balsa gave Chagum unleavened bread called bam to dip in leftover stew, then added some honey to boiling water to make a sweet tea. Chagum pinched his bam into small pieces before dipping it into the stew. He was very careful about not touching his wound as he ate.

    Balsa finished her portion of dinner and set her dishes aside. "You're looking better," she said. "The color's returned to your face. I think if we rest for another day, your face probably won't hurt much anymore."

    Chagum said nothing in response. He stared into the flames of the fire in the hearth. He stared for quite a while, then gripped his frostbitten left leg with his right hand. "Balsa."

    "Yeah?" she asked.

    "I'm...dead," he said. "I mean as the Crown Prince. Everyone in New Yogo believes I died in Sangal. I escaped Talsh and the palace in the slim hope that Rota and Kanbal would listen to me, but I have no power or authority to make any alliances. I'm powerless." He frowned at the fire. 

    "When I jumped off that ship, all I was thinking of was getting to Rota in time. If Rota managed to send reinforcements before Talsh attacked, we might have stood a chance. I hoped my father would see the wisdom of the alliance and set aside our past grievances to work with our allies. I thought that if only I just kept going, some kind of way forward would appear for me--but I was wrong."

    Chagum clenched his fists. "It was all just a child's dream." Chagum covered his face with his fists and froze still in that position. 

    Balsa ladled hot water into cups for tea. "It's understandable to be upset.”

    Chagum didn't react to what she'd said at first. When he peeked out at her from behind his hands, she smiled at him. "I don't really know if your plan was a child's dream or not. But I understand that you're sad not to be the Crown Prince anymore--even though you used to hate that role."

    Chagum opened his mouth to say something, then closed it.

    "When I saw you last, you would have been overjoyed if you could have stopped being the Crown Prince."

    "That's..." He hung his head and didn't say anything else.

    "When I started searching for you, everyone thought you were dead. When I learned you were alive, I was happy. You were living as just Chagum, free from the chains of responsibility and leadership that were put on you when you were born. That's what I thought." She paused. "If--when--New Yogo is destroyed, it won't be your fault. It's your hard-hearted father's fault for not realizing he needs help, and asking for it. Isn't that right?" 

    She waited for him to say something. When he remained silent, she said, "You're sixteen years old. Why do you think all the world's burdens are your own? Well, I won't let you shoulder them. I know that no one wants war--not the Mikado or New Yogo's people--but if the imperial palace is destroyed, so be it. You've gotten this far and come out alive. It's all right to stop, take a breath, and let go of the things you can't control. No one will blame you for the outcome of the war. You can live in peace, free from responsibility for others for the rest of your life, if that's what you choose."

    Chagum blinked. He'd never seen his situation in quite that light before. He felt a whole lot better, like someone had turned on a lamp in the darkness. Cool air soothed the heat of his fever. He'd been so focused on doing everything that he possibly could to save New Yogo for so long that he'd completely failed to understand his position until now.

    "But even if I do choose to live in peace, it won't be easy. Not anymore."

    Balsa frowned at him a little. He'd seen his situation in a new light, but he seemed just as sad as he'd been before.

    "And it's not responsibility or any sort of heavy burden that I'm carrying," Chagum said. "It's a dream." He started to cry. "I want to save my mother and my sister. I don't want New Yogo to be overrun and subjugated by Talsh. I don't want to lose to Prince Raul. I...I just want New Yogo's people to be happy."

    Chagum was no longer the same little boy who had cried from disgust and revulsion at the idea of returning to the imperial palace of Kosenkyo. No trace of that boy was left in him. If New Yogo's people suffered, Chagum suffered, too. Chagum couldn't separate his own well-being from that of his homeland; not anymore. He had no choice but to keep moving forward and chasing his dream, no matter how lonely and hopeless the journey felt. He couldn't smile at the path that lay ahead of him, but he also could not turn aside from it.

    "Chagum," Balsa said. "Hugo gave me a message for you. Would you like to hear it?"

    Chagum's eyes went wide. "Hugo? You met him?" He frowned. "Hugo...is strange. I know he's an enemy, but I can't seem to hate him."

    Balsa chuckled. "He was definitely weird." She described, briefly, how she and Hugo had met. "Here's what he wanted to say to you: 'I want to help Crown Prince Chagum. He’s planning to create an alliance between all the nations of the northern continent. If he wants to actually succeed, then he has to go to Kanbal, and soon--before he sees the King of Rota. What’s needed now is an alliance between Rota and Kanbal.'"

    Chagum's face lit up as he understood the implications of Hugo's message. "Rota and Kanbal, be allies?"

    Balsa watched color return to Chagum's pale face. "Yes--yes, that just might work. The King of Rota and the King of Kanbal might agree, king to king. They can form a wall strong enough to repel the Talsh. Prince Raul wouldn't be able to take over the northern continent so easily then..." His eyes shone with excitement; he almost smiled, but then his smile collapsed.

    "But, uh," he said, sounding a little confused, "why would Hugo, of all people, want to tell me something like that?

    “He said he always wanted to govern a province, but Prince Raul would have to become the Talsh Emperor for that to happen.” Balsa told Chagum everything that Hugo had said, as best she could remember. Chagum listened to her with a serious and absorbed expression.

    After she was done speaking, Chagum stared at the floor and thought for a long while. Then he raised his head and said, “No matter what happens with New Yogo, Rota and Kanbal being allies would grant undeniable benefits to both countries. I want to make that alliance happen, if I can.”

    Balsa nodded. “Prince Ihan told me that Rota would accept an alliance with Kanbal.”

    Chagum blinked in surprise. “Prince Ihan really said that?”

    Balsa smiled. “He didn’t want to reject your proposal of an alliance, either--it seems like circumstances forced his hand. I got the feeling that if you’d been the Mikado, he would have agreed to support you with everything he had.”

    Tears fell from Chagum’s eyes and spilled onto the floor. He frowned as if he were in intense pain.

    “Don’t touch your wound,” Balsa said. “It’ll only hurt more.”

    Chagum smiled.

    Balsa added more wood to the fire, then turned back to Chagum. “Winter comes faster to Kanbal than it does to Rota; it’s probably already buried in snow. We need to get ready for a long, hard journey across the mountains. We should probably backtrack to Toluan a bit to wait out the blizzard and resupply. I know it would slow you down a little, but--”

    “No,” Chagum said. “It was my decision to go to Kanbal. I have to go; I can’t delay.” He stared at Balsa for a moment that stretched, then shifted his gaze to the fire.

    He had jumped off his ship and swum across the vast ocean to Rota. He remembered being so exhausted and thirsty that first morning, when he’d washed up on the beach near a village. It had taken days to find a ship that would give him safe passage to Rota; he’d burned with impatience during the seemingly endless search. And then he’d finally reached Rota and been captured by one of the southern clan lords. He’d escaped confinement with the Kashal’s help and finally met with Prince Ihan to propose his alliance. He remembered the hopelessness and despair of his long journey,then set those feelings aside. He had to keep going, even if what he wanted to achieve was impossible.

    He was still alive. There were still things that only he could do. The warmth of the fire spread inside him. “Balsa,” he said quietly as he looked at the flames. “Will you take me to Kanbal?”

    "Yes," Balsa said. "I'll take you to my homeland. It echoes with the flapping of hawks' wings as they clean the bones off everything dead. All men and women are poor there, even the king. But I'll take you there. For all its poverty, Kanbal, too, has beautiful places. I'll show them to you."

    The flames of the fire flickered. Balsa and Chagum looked across at one another, warm and together at last.

This is the end of Guardian of Heaven and Earth - Rota. The story continues in Guardian of Heaven and Earth - Kanbal.